Aug 17, 2020 | Security
“One size fits all” doesn’t make sense in children’s faith development. I like my cousin’s perspective. He said, “I am adopted and so are my brother and sister. Our values seem remarkably similar. We are always going to take the kitten out of the storm. That is what our parents taught us to do.
But we don’t otherwise parrot our parents and we don’t much resemble each other. This has led me to favor a theory of human nature wherein we are bestowed a core personality type. You could say this is largely through genetic make-up or perhaps you could call it the soulish essence of a person.
Environment may pinch or stretch or permanently stain us but our essential traits are immutable.”
One child’s essential traits tend toward ritual and routine.
In her spiritual development, this child will resonate with scheduled times for prayer, inspirational readings in the same favorite location every day, or regular attendance at religious services.
Another more free-spirited child will find this style constraining…
….and boring and “something I have to do.” So we approach this child about talking to God wherever, whenever, spontaneously. When you are out doing active things and you feel God’s presence, say a prayer of gratitude. When you get yourself into a precarious situation, call on God’s help.
Adults who take a truly holistic view of children will help them connect with God in different ways that align with their personality. They realize it doesn’t make sense to enforce one style, one method, or only the approach that works for them.
A child’s core personality guides caregivers in how to discuss spirituality uniquely with each
Jun 8, 2020 | Security
Help children build a spiritual vocabulary, using the same methods as when you taught them basic vocabulary words. When they learned animal names, you had picture books of animals, “Where’s the bird? What does the bird say?” And when you went outdoors, “See the bird? Hear the bird?“
Spiritual vocabulary in kid lit
Use children’s literature in the same way. It’s packed with stories about the human spirit developing and prevailing. When you read to children, emphasize and repeat age-appropriate spiritual vocabulary words such as right, wrong, conscience, character, wise, forgive, as these concepts come up in the book.
Spiritual vocabulary in your conversation
Use these vocabulary words in normal everyday conversations. As children get older, you can move on to words like mindful, ethics, purpose, presence, worship, spirit, soul, self and reason.
When they know words like these, they’ll be equipped with a vocabulary to express themselves as they begin to work out the complexities of life. With greater self-assurance, they might talk freely and listen non-judgmentally to others, thus understanding how normal and widespread is the spiritual dimension of life.
May 11, 2020 | Direction
If you are someone currently helping children develop their souls, seven warning signs can tell you if you’re tilting off course. Run through this list periodically and consider which areas might be interfering in the child’s spiritual development or sending negative messages.
- Spiritual sharing that is not age-appropriate or personality-appropriate (i.e. scaring or confusing children).
- Modeling behaviors that are different from we teach children to do (i.e. not practicing what we preach).
- Refusing to admit our own mistakes, hiding our faults, blaming others (i.e. lack of honesty and taking responsibility).
- Assuming that young children aren’t interested in learning about God (i.e. silence on the subject of God).
- Waiting to talk with children about God until they have done something wrong (i.e. creating feelings of guilt and judgment around God).
- Teaching by our actions that many other things in life are more important than God and spirituality (i.e. ignoring God and prioritizing other areas of life–sports, activities, hobbies, romantic relationships, social events)
- Forcing children to agree with whatever we think about God (i.e. forgetting that a child has the right to make up his or her own mind).
If you’re thinking that’s a lot to remember and be responsible for, you’re not alone. Helping children develop spiritually is not a one-person job. Fortunately, you can turn to resources outside the family like the connection with a faith community.
Sep 3, 2019 | Direction
A way to develop a child’s spiritual life and faith is found in opening yourself up to their world, in asking them questions, sharing your views, and listening to theirs. You may discover that spiritual topics are of more importance to children and teens than many of us realize. try out the question below. A four-year-old will be able to answer but so will a teen or adult.
Conversation starter
Main idea: God knows all the facts about any subject you can imagine.
Meditation: “God is greater than [your] heart, and he knows everything.” 1 John 3:20
Let’s talk: What do you wish you could ask God?
Feb 26, 2018 | trust
One of our Christian readers shares a teen-centered idea. The same format could be adapted to any cultural or religious style.
Faith and Doubt Night
“We have a relatively small youth group… maybe 10 high school aged kids if everyone shows up. Faith and Doubt Night has gotten positive feedback from them. It’s not a typical ‘youth group’ thing. No games, no icebreakers, just a living room full of teens and the senior pastor (no parents), and any questions the kids want to ask. As a parent, I’m not allowed to attend, so my husband and I watch something in the basement while the kids meet in our living room.
“What about this?”
Because of the personality, education and demographics of our church, it tends to be rational, intellectual, debate-style, “What about this?’ kinds of questions. The unfairness of hell, the reliability of the Bible, the character of God, injustice in the world, etc.
We’ve had one so far and the kids really liked it. They thought it was interesting and relevant. After seeing how the first one went, some are now open to inviting friends who have expressed interest in spiritual things.
What parents say
I’ve talked with some of the parents and we mostly agree that most high school kids– whether raised in the church or outside of it– aren’t really sure yet about what they believe. They may give general assent, but they haven’t really kicked the tires and decided what they think for themselves.
How we advertised it
At [church name] we value all honest questions, doubts, and hesitations about the Christian faith. If you are in 9th-12th grade, the floor is wide open for you to bring ANY question you’re wrestling with about Christianity. Pastor Bill will lead conversation as we talk through each other’s questions, and help us think through issues together. Bring your questions. Dessert will be provided.
Got an idea to share with readers? See comment box below.
Tweetable: One of the happiest discoveries for teens can be that asking questions is far more interesting than making statements about their own views. Read about one church’s Faith and Doubt night. Click to Tweet
….and boring and “something I have to do.” So we approach this child about talking to God wherever, whenever, spontaneously. When you are out doing active things and you feel God’s presence, say a prayer of gratitude. When you get yourself into a precarious situation, call on God’s help.
