Jul 20, 2015 | Nurture
One dad says, “For a long time, my wife and I were so busy responding to the chaos around us in our family that we never had a chance to address the questions of values, meaning and purpose.”
How about you? If you tried out some of these conversation-starters on a road trip this summer, how do you think your children (starting at age 10) might respond?
- I wish I was more…..
- My family thinks I am….
- What I want to accomplish with my life is….
- These things I do every day are meaningful to me….
- My life matters because….
- One thing about myself I would change is…
- One thing about myself I would never change is…
- I think that what God thinks about me and my life is….
- These things that happened to me are part of my developing as a person….
- I wish my family would…
- When I want to talk about something important, the person or people I go to are….
For many parents, the thought of opening these conversations with kids can be frightening.
Remember, we’re talking about ages 10 and up. We might not like the answers we get. Yet our willingness to talk openly about spiritual matters from their earliest years of life is the gift of wholeness in their being, leading to much greater balance of body, mind, spirit and emotion.
These conversations are gifts you give your children to prepare them for whatever spiritual journeys await them.
When they are young adults, they will take it from here. Where will they take it? Impossible to say– or to control.
Tweetable: How do you think your children will respond to these conversation-starters that touch on their heart and soul? Click to Tweet
Jun 22, 2015 | Nourishment
“I’m bored” should be two of the most thrilling words children say to us.
“I’m bored” demonstrates a child’s willingness to go outside their default game, the usual videos or familiar TV shows. This is our big chance to suggest activities that will engage children in one of their proven talents.
The child’s emotional payoff will make it easier next time to get outside the usual.
For some children, that could mean engaging in art or learning karate. For one girl, it meant party planning. At 10 years old, she was demonstrating ability in leadership and organization. She loved planning things and being in charge, and she was creative.
Her mother suggested that she plan a surprise party for her sister.
The girl shifted into gear with great enthusiasm. She dreamed up a theme and activities. She planned out the schedule of what should be done when. She created a guest list and invited people.
She designed a menu that would go with the party theme, then made a list of supplies and food for her mother to pick up. This 10-year-old was clearly in her element, and her joy in surprising her sister with a fun party and friends was evident.
Certainly there is a cost to supporting and encouraging a child’s abilities and interests.
Expect to see an impact on the way money will be spent, amount and type of family time spent, and choice of activities outside the home and school.
It could mean recruiting extended family to pay for lessons. As a great-aunt, I’m always looking for birthday gifts that the kids will like and use. Recently I made a comment to two of my nieces about the artistic ability I see in their children. I talked about gifting summer cartooning classes to the one who lives near the Charles Schultz Museum. We know her son is artistic, but let’s see if cartooning fuels a spark in him.
Learn to see boredom as an opportunity for creativity and development for the children in your life. You never know what it might spark.
Next week: The unluckiest kids in the neighborhood
Tweetable: Summer is here and “I’m bored” should be two of the most thrilling words children say to us–here’s why. Click to Tweet
May 25, 2015 | Direction
School vacations begin any day now. Here’s an idea that could shift your child’s vacation time from good to great: Wherever you go, whatever you do, find ways to put the spotlight on your family’s talents and strengths. You will hear a lot more gratitude and a lot less whining.
Start by making a list of each child’s talents and strengths….
…including adults who are part of the vacation. Show each child’s list to them and ask the child to circle their top two or three.
Armed with these lists of talents and strengths, search for events and activities that match their talents. This can be a search for local activities, or if the family is also going on a trip, events at your destination.
Sort the possible activities.
Delete any that are unrealistic for your family. Now you have a list of places, people, events, shows, or games that are possible for the trip (or summer days at home without school).
Allow the whole family to choose from the list.
Because of your advance work, there is literally something for every person. Their satisfaction is greater because they are doing something they love or something they are good at. While participating in a sibling’s choice they know their turn is coming.
Take for instance an overnight camping trip.
One child in the family is a natural. She wants to pitch the tent and build the fire. She’s in her element on a camping trip.
The other two children haven’t been looking forward to the camping trip as much.
So you strategically put one child in charge of organizing the tent and the foodstuffs. Where should each person’s sleeping bag be laid out? Where should the flashlight be so everyone can get to it in the dark? How should we separate the evening food from the next day’s breakfast so it doesn’t attract bears? This child is an arranger and he gets a lot of satisfaction out of organizing everything so it makes sense.
The third child is the one staring up into the clouds.
While everyone else was trying to unload the van and pitch the tent, she isn’t paying much attention to the world around her. But that night at the campfire, you ask that child to make up stories to tell around the campfire. The rest of the family can’t believe how funny and scary and entertaining her stories are… but you had a hunch.
Great vacations encompass short-term fun, plus the long-term gain of learning something new or adding onto something we were already good at so the enjoyment is increased.
Vacation isn’t just about mindless fun or distraction or rest.
Yes, these are important. But discovery and creativity and growth are important too. So stay in the moment for 5 more minutes after it’s over, to talk:
- What did we do that you wish we could do again?
- I have an idea for a different activity that we could do…..
- What 3 words describe your feelings about what we did?
- If we did this again, what could we do to make it better?
- What did you (see, hear, smell, taste, feel)?
- What was your contribution to this activity?
With these simple ideas you are likely to get a greater return of refreshment and enjoyment over the long haul.
Next week: Packing children’s suitcases for the trip ahead
Tweetable: Here’s an idea that could shift your child’s vacation time from good to great. Click to Tweet
