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How childhood adversity points you toward life purpose
I could be in this video. One of my grandfathers had Tourette's Syndrome, the other grandfather had an undiagnosed movement disorder manifesting in physical and vocal tics. The onset of my tics was somewhere around age 5 or 6. Other children would pull away from me,...
A teen’s work pattern: “Isn’t that just like you?”
The more they act out of their motivated abilities pattern*, the greater is a teenager's satisfaction that they are using their life for its intended purpose --the purpose that they define, based upon the abilities, talents, skills, and temperament they see in...
Teens ask, “What should I do with my life?”
Some teens can do anything—they get good grades, are excellent athletes, and are involved with music, drama, editing yearbooks. They can do anything but do not know what to do with their lives. -- Miller and Mattson Miller and Mattson continue, "Hidden behind their...
Volunteer work as destiny discovery for teens
Most university-bound teens engage in volunteer work of some kind—it’s almost a requirement for a good college application. But is there more to it than that? Some teens say Yes! In addition to building their resume, some say that volunteering helped them: see that...
11 conversation starters for family road trips
One dad says, “For a long time, my wife and I were so busy responding to the chaos around us in our family that we never had a chance to address the questions of values, meaning and purpose.” How about you? If you tried out some of these conversation-starters on a...
Three MORE ways to help children find jobs that they love
Last week's post detailed three ideas to help a child discover, develop and actively pursue the tasks that they love to do. Action Item #1 - Ask kids what work they like to do Action Item #2 - Guess and try something Action Item #3 - Ask teachers, coaches, friends and...
Three ways to help children find work that they love
This boy's joyful attitude about work is the norm for young children. He sees the connection between his work and a greater purpose. He delights in being helpful. As children get older, does it seem that many of them lose the joy? Chores and work are not the same...
The unluckiest kids in the neighborhood
Sometimes developing the children in our lives means not doing more but doing less, not buying another camp or class, but encouraging a bit of boredom and seeing what happens. I was raised in a two-parent household and my mother worked as a nurse. In the summers when...
The gift of boredom
“I’m bored” should be two of the most thrilling words children say to us. “I’m bored” demonstrates a child’s willingness to go outside their default game, the usual videos or familiar TV shows. This is our big chance to suggest activities that will engage children in...
How our unfulfilled goals influence a child’s future
"Nothing affects the environment of a child so much as the unlived life of a parent". –Carl Jung I saw that quote in Laurie Beth Jones’ book, The Path. Ms Jones gave permission to use her ideas in this post. Where or how do you see your “unlived life” played out in...
Be aware of your dream to raise impressive children
We’re all raised in families, communities and even entire cultures that barrage us with messages about what they want from us. "Get married," "Make money," "Buy your own home." We usually forget when and how we first received these messages about what we’re supposed...
Packing children’s suitcases for the trip ahead
Whenever I pack my suitcase for a trip, I check the weather at my destination and keep in mind the activities I will do there. Then I lay out my clothes on the bed and when I’m satisfied that I didn’t forget anything, they go into the suitcase. Generally speaking, I...
Talents and strengths: A vacation planner
School vacations begin any day now. Here’s an idea that could shift your child’s vacation time from good to great: Wherever you go, whatever you do, find ways to put the spotlight on your family’s talents and strengths. You will hear a lot more gratitude and a lot...
Prepare children to tap into their potential
"Humans may resemble many other creatures in their striving for happiness, but the quest for meaning is a key part of what makes us human." -- Roy Baumeister For most people, finding life meaningful and feeling happy are important-- and related-- goals. Recognizing...
What is life’s main goal? Happiness or meaning?
In a web-based Smart Girls survey, four out of five girls (average age 13) reported that their life goal was something like fame, money, or being happy. The remaining 20% said their life goal was to make a difference. Opinions such as this are often formed from...
Supplement religious education: ask “What is God doing today?”
Children who go to religious education classes, Sunday School or parochial school benefit from opportunities to experience God beyond learning facts about God. Earlier this week, I took my four-year-old granddaughter to the library and to the park for a Bug Hunt. As I...
3 skills adults need to develop a child’s human spirit
Skill #1: Attentiveness: Notice spiritual activity in children. It occurs most often in the context of everyday life, but don't overlook its presence here: Dreams Awe-inspiring activities Peace in hard times Out-of-control events Coincidences and unexplainable...
Personal disappointment with God: 3 ideas for children
"I want the gummi bears!!!" cried the child from the car seat, melting down on our way to get lunch because I said he can have the candy after we eat. As children get older, their disappointments grow larger. In my work of facilitating support groups for...