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Spirituality: If you’re a child, you want this
Although children often say they see spirituality differently, many adults insist either that we need never bring up spiritual matters at all or that we must instill our own beliefs about God into children. Assumption #1: Spiritual matters are of little importance to...
When kids ask “Is there a Santa Claus?”
The question pops up in some families with young children. Here’s a summary of my favorite approach to answering many questions asked by children: Some people think X Some people think Y Some people think Z [optional] I think Z because___ What do you think? Here is...
Blog Anniversary #2: Hope burns brightly
"It took me years to figure out what my kids aren’t getting, so I could go out and get it." Disappointment hung on these words: because of a lack of knowledge; for the difficulty of facing down what’s fragile in life; for the uncertainty around what really matters in...
Children ask, “Why is Jesus’ birthday a holiday?”
For young children, Christmas and Halloween are very much alike: one is a time to get presents and the other is a time to get candy. Older children are more likely to hear friends speak of Christmas as Jesus’ birthday, which may give rise to questions about why Jesus...
Saying “Thank You”: ideas that build a child’s social skills
A teenage girl was recently asked to babysit for a family. Her response? "Sure. Those were the only kids at the party who said 'thank you' when I handed out treats. They're really polite." (And this from a 15-year-old who was too shy to say thank you when she was 5...
Wondering when to join a faith community?
A milestone occurs when children enter school and their relationship pool increases and deepens. They look for ways to connect with others and with God in new ways. In grade school, you are still the one they most want to hear from about spirituality and the one they...
How do we answer a child’s “Who is God?”
How do we do that in a way that informs, yet leaves the door open to explore and journey and be curious as they grow up? What words can we use to introduce God in such a way as to do the child no harm? Here is a description of God that may prove useful, written in a...
Spirituality in the gifted child
Physicist Charles Townes' (pictured here) laser invention changed science and society, also bringing him the 1964 Nobel Prize. His reflections about his own life brought about my suggested resources (below) for gifted children who seek answers to the big questions....
The different spiritual vantage point of a child
Children believe in what they cannot see. They seek God. "It's like there's a homing device in each of my children," a mother told me, "God looking to connect with my child as my child looks for God." When we talk to a child early about God there is an automatic...
Why I talk about the past with children
Living in the moment--one of the foundations of Buddhism. Life is richer when we savor the taste and texture of our meal or lose ourselves in the excitement of a watching a big game. After the moment is gone, it becomes The Past but it keeps giving us its richness....
Children’s self-talk helps them plan successfully
Casey (age 9) has been learning to plan ahead so he gets to school on time. [see previous post]. But when he hears his 6:30 alarm, his self-talk thoughts begin: "It's warm in my bed and cold in the house. I'm going to stay here and sleep just a few minutes more."...
Make it easier for a child to learn Planning
If you were to ask Casey (age 9), "What are you going to do tomorrow?" he would probably reply, "I don't know. I'll wait and see." Sometimes this attitude causes trouble for him. When it is time to go to school, he is hardly ever ready. Most school mornings he is...
The snails’ funeral
My friends Laura and Mamitte (not their real names) were having coffee at Mamitte's apartment while their 7-year-old boys and a neighbor boy played in the courtyard. Mamitte walked out to check on them and discovered that they had smashed a bunch of snails. She said...
Helping a child process suffering and pain
Since 1991 I have sat with children in support groups as they process circumstances that upset them. Sometimes an older child will ask me why God didn't stop it or why God lets tragedies happen. Here are two principles I use to guide these conversations. Principle #1:...
Why my grandmother is my hero
The English class assignment was to write a five-paragraph essay about a personal hero. Adrian's* hero is his grandmother--a friend of mine--who shared the essay. Notice how Adrian's every point flows from his grandmother's human spirit... and not a single point flows...
Emotional & spiritual intelligence: “My dad shows me how”
One dad has been laying a spiritual foundation for his children based upon the truth about their higher power, as they understand it--God knows you, loves you and cares about you. This dad shares his approach to helping his children know that they are known by God and...
The wisdom of Solomon
Teens are by nature idealistic thinkers who desire meaning and purpose. They have begun looking around to see what others think and then to evaluate those ideas. What does TV and popular culture tell us is the main goal of life? What do parents tell us is the main...
Nourish a small child’s whole self at once
Small children (ages 2 and 3) have a strong desire to help and imitate adult work. With their limited verbal vocabulary, they express interest in the only way they are able. The window of opportunity doesn't last forever, and many adults miss it. Some want to wait...