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Sympathy and prayer–kids can see the connection
Our foster daughter Angie had the most sympathy of any person I've ever known. At age 14, her spontaneous, heartfelt expressions of sadness for someone else's misfortune far surpassed my own. Angie and I had occasion to drive through some hardscrabble neighborhoods in...
More than bystanders: community transformation
For most young people, school and its related activities are the scene of almost all personal involvement with others. You might say that school is a community-- the broader environment in which kids find themselves. They can not only have a good experience there, but...
An underrated yet powerful motivator for kids
One consistently underrated motivator for kids is the moral or spiritual motivation. We're trained to think kids won't care about doing the right or courageous thing for its own sake. But what is almost every classic kids' movie or book about? The classic clash...
Childhood spiritual styles: Enthusiastic Style
The different ways children experience God can be called their spiritual style. With their mind and heart they form a positive relationship with God in the best, most natural way for each of them. Many styles within the same spiritual tradition Typically you and the...
Childhood spiritual styles: Sharing Style
Has anyone ever asked you about your personal spiritual style? Has anyone ever offered to support you in exactly that area, the area of your strongest receptiveness for the divine? Or has it been your experience that most [people] are so focused on their own approach...
Childhood spiritual styles: Bold Idealistic Style
A child's spiritual style is not the same as personality or character. Rather, it describes the way the child most naturally connects with God. Our aim here is to give adults some tools for leading children to discover and experience further growth in their faith in a...
Childhood spiritual styles: Rational Style
In what environment does your child feel particularly close to God? It's not that God is objectively closer to them in those situations, but that they feel God's closeness more, they sense God to be closer to them. These "locations" reveal a child's spiritual style....
Childhood spiritual styles: Sensory Style
“A spiritual style is a God-given antenna for the divine.” German philosopher Christian Schwarz’ research into how people connect with God gives insight into the way each child most naturally experiences God. Many years ago I adapted Mr. Schwarz’ findings for my own...
Watch us grow!
As children grow, we mark their progress in a number of ways. We mark their height on the wall. We post their report cards on our refrigerator. We place their most recent school photo on our mantel. As these milestones pass, we share our joy with our family and...
A child’s trust builds when we–and God–show up
“Eighty percent of success is just showing up,” according to Woody Allen. In building trust with kids, that is absolutely true. Trusting relationships start with us. One of my mentors, Linda Sibley, shares her perspective. "Attention to little things over the long...
Reassure children with promises backed by God’s character
Sooner or later, every child sees trouble coming into life. Things go wrong. Even young children feel anger, disappointment, grief, pain and loss. Older kids might not like the design of their body, the parents they got or didn’t get. They are surprised when they...
“What happens in this family is nobody’s business but ours”
"Children carry family secrets. Their powers of observation add to the problem when they see, for example, one parent covering up for another or acting as if everything is okay when it obviously is not," says author Linda Sibley. She continues... Guideline #1: Tell...
Parents, prepare yourself to break some rules!
Linda Sibley wrote: "One hard and fast rule of parenting is that you can’t take your kids any further than you have come yourself." And no parent knows every healthy way of living emotionally, physically and spiritually. She continues, "So we’re not only figuring out...
God as a source of security for children
At any given age children experience normal fears and anxieties. If a family becomes concerned about a child’s unusually high level of anxiety, plenty of psychological resources exist. But there is an additional, important resource to be found in anchoring children at...
Kids ask, “How can I let God know I love God?”
Hopefully these sample answers, which you can adapt to your specific beliefs, provide some seed ideas for conversation. They are written at a child's vocabulary level. What you are saying and doing now will help lay crucial groundwork for their exploration of God...
Kids ask, “Can people actually make a connection with God?”
These ideas for discussing the possibilities of such a relationship are written at a child’s vocabulary level. Adapt it as needed for a child's unique situation. Your connection with God starts with God. From the beginning of your life, God provides a family for you,...
S.M.A.R.T. Summer: A method kids use turns ideas into reality
Two months ago I moved to Northern California. Our backyard has a deck and lots of bare dirt. I was talking with some of the children in our extended family (ages 9, 7 and 5) about ideas for the dirt. The five-year-old suggested that we put in a “beaver pond.” Other...
Activities to increase a child’s empathy
Unstructured summer days lie ahead. What activities can we use to enrich kids’ lives while having fun at the same time? Strengthen a child’s empathy this summer and you may see these results in the upcoming school year*: more relaxed physically, with lower levels of...