Linda Sibley wrote: “One hard and fast rule of parenting is that you can’t take your kids any further than you have come yourself.” And no parent knows every healthy way of living emotionally, physically and spiritually. She continues,
“So we’re not only figuring out how to overcome our past experiences to make ourselves healthy, we also want to figure out how to make our homes healthier for our children. However, with no models to draw from in certain life skills, we wonder where to start. All we have to go on is what our family was like.
Here’s one way to start.
Set aside your natural instinct to put your children’s needs first and concentrate on yourself. Get prepared by asking yourself questions like these:
- What did I need from my parents that I did not get?
- What unhealthy skills did I learn as a child that I must unlearn now? (For example, poor communication, inability to feel and express your feelings, continually making poor choices for yourself.)
- What words did I hear in my home that I wish had never been said?
- What words did I need to hear that no one ever said to me?
Have trouble remembering?
Maybe it would help to….
- Set aside time to be alone.
- Write it down.
- Share the questions with a trusted family member(s) for their observations and impressions.
As you answer these questions for yourself, you will gain valuable insight about what your children need from you. Then keep reading next week…..
Break the “Don’t” Rules in upcoming posts.
- Don’t Talk
- Don’t Trust
- Don’t Feel
Linda Sibley gave me permission to share all of these ideas of hers. For more from Linda, search Child-Centered Spirituality for Choices
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