Jun 9, 2014 | Direction
A child’s need of direction for their human spirit includes acquiring basic ethics to guide the way they live. Part of the role of a caregiver is that of a teacher. We teach morals in the very same way we teach life skills.
If you are teaching a child to clean up the dishes, you don’t say, “How do you feel like this should be done? What seems right to you?”
You show them, you let them try it, you provide corrective feedback, you show them again, you let them try it again, and so on. It’s incredibly repetitive, they often don’t do a good job for quite a while, and it’s certainly more difficult than simply washing the dishes yourself. But that’s how people learn.
As caregivers, we provide children with modeling, direction, and feedback.
We demonstrate patience and a tolerance of mistakes during the learning process, and offer praise when the child makes a good effort or achieves a goal. This is the fun part of directing kids: seeing their excitement when they can show off a new skill, seeing their confidence increase as they say “I can do it!”
And we do it as life unfolds.
We teach right and wrong the very same way as we teach life skills. We keep living in the moment, focused on building character, on strengthening conscience–theirs and ours–as we walk with them through their daily life of schoolwork, recreation, relationships, and lessons.
Tweetables:
- A child’s need of direction for their human spirit includes basic ethics to guide the way they live. Click to Tweet
- We teach children right and wrong the very same way as we teach them life skills. Click to Tweet
Jun 2, 2014 | Direction
In reality, no child ever gets away with wrong-doing. Children damage themselves when they act destructively (stealing, lying, violence, etc). Knowing this, most parents place high priority on giving direction for living a life of integrity.
In the next several blog posts, we look at a child’s need for spiritual direction.
Children need direction but they need it in different ways, according to their personality and temperament.
My friend shares about how her two daughters learned to ride their bikes once the training wheels were taken off.
My first child was cautious. She wanted a lot of direction. What do I do to stop? What if I start running into the bushes? She also wanted a lot of support. You won’t let go, right? Don’t let go until I tell you. She waited to ride on her own until she had practiced with support for several weeks and until she felt she understood what to do in any situation. As I held onto the bike while she was practicing, I could feel that she was ready. The bike wasn’t wobbling at all. But we waited until she felt confident.
My younger daughter was a different story all together. She saw her sister learn to ride and immediately wanted her training wheels off too. I could see her set her face in determination: I will learn how to do this. She did not want direction or support. She wanted to do it herself and she wanted to be able to do it yesterday. Not surprisingly, my younger one took a lot of crashes. She did run into the bushes. She did forget where the brakes were. It took a long time. But she kept trying and she kept getting up again. I did sneak in some direction when I could– like a parent hiding broccoli under a layer of cheese: Try leaning in when you turn and see what happens. And she’d try it, and it would work, and she’d take credit for the idea.
Notice the first principle that guides us as we give spiritual direction: When spiritual conversations arise, we tailor them to the child’s personality. We change our approach to fit their temperament.
Tweetables:
- No child ever gets away with wrong-doing. Children damage themselves when they act destructively. Click to Tweet
- When spiritual conversations arise, we tailor them to the child’s personality. Click to Tweet
