Aug 19, 2019 | Direction
Assume that children have some sort of connection with God. A friend overheard an exchange between his young son and a neighbor boy. They were talking about praying. The boy said, “I pray in my bed but I don’t tell my parents about it because they don’t pray.”
There can be benefits to including spiritual conversations in everyday life. Maybe not literally every day. Just often enough to impress that spirituality is worth talking about.
Conversation Starter
Main idea: When you understand that God actually listens when you talk to him, you’ll find that God is a loyal friend.
Meditation: God said, “In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Jeremiah 29:12-13
Let’s talk: When did you talk to God lately? How did that feel?
Jul 22, 2019 | Nourishment
A university professor ended her week of instruction with reflection questions for her students: What was your significant learning this past week? What did you learn or what was reinforced about yourself?
Reflection didn’t happen.
She asked the students to get in small groups to discuss. “They got in their groups and just looked at one another with baffled looks on their faces while remaining silent. I tried rewording the questions and providing examples and still got blank looks when they returned to their group discussions,” explains Jackie Gerstein.
Without reflection, kids aren’t getting the meaning.
She continues, “I began to get frustrated by their lack of response until a major AHA struck me . . . They are products of a standardized system where they …finished one unit of information and were asked to quickly move on to the next unit. They were not given the time, skills, and opportunities to extract personalized meanings from their studies. Reflection was not part of their curriculum as it cannot be measured nor tested.” *
In Child-Centered Spirituality we observe the same thing happening.
Kids move from one activity to the next. Be one of those adults in their lives who offers them time to consider and express what they are learning or feeling. I was with a preteen girl and her grandmother this week. The girl planned for the three of us to have lunch and go to a movie. At lunch we laughed a lot and I when I looked back on our time together, I realized that we had touched on living in our families, how we’re experiencing God, and making smart choices. One open-ended reflection question can create an AHA moment for everyone at the table.
Try one of these reflection questions:
- What are some things you got to do this week that other people might not be able or allowed to do?
- What do you think are the most important qualities of a good (grandparent…parent…teacher…etc)?
*I read Jackie Gerstein’s story on her website, User Generated Education.
Tweetable: Kids move from one activity to the next and few adults offer them time to consider and express what they are learning. Examples here of reflection questions. Click to Tweet
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Jun 24, 2019 | Nurture
Days ago, I emptied the last cardboard moving box and heaved a weary sigh of relief as I flattened it for recycling. At least now I could see all our stuff.
Where to put it is another matter.
At this stage of my life, I’ve decided the best option for me is to let the house itself provide a boundary. My goal is to fill the spaces provided, and not to store much. Time will tell whether that goal survives or crashes on a heap of good intentions.
I have five old bookcases and one 3-drawer dresser lining the walls of the garage where I put plastic containers of holiday decorations, out-of-season clothes, tools, that sort of thing. A shelf overhanging the hood of the car gives a place for bulky items like a tent and sleeping bags.
In the midst of all this settling in, neighbors and friends lend their helping hands.
On Sunday afternoon, the two girls who live next door came over with plates of homemade pastries and Welcome messages. Other neighbors gifted us with food or plants, and conversations started which will be continued.
The fifth-grade girl two houses down from us has a Lemonade Stand on the front lawn where she’s collecting money for a food pantry here in town. Here’s an idea about kids and hospitality.
Hospitality is a character trait.
And character is what we are at our core. “There is an inner self that forms the root of the outer self,” wrote Lewis Smedes.”The inner self is probably heart and mind. About how we intend to shape our behavior. About the tilt of our wills. How we are disposed to live. Maybe deeper things than this too, but at least this.”
An important part of children’s spiritual formation is about growing in character. More than that, of course, but for children, especially that.
Tweetable: Are people moving into your building or onto your block? Involve the kids as you welcome the newcomers. Some ideas here can inspire you. Click to Tweet
Apr 15, 2019 | Nourishment
When two of our nieces were small, they and their parents would get together with us about once a month and it always included a meal. When it was my turn to cook, I made lots of recipes not in the girls’ normal diet. On the drive to our house, their mom would play a guessing game with them, which she says was a high point of the drive—What kind of meat do you think we’re going to have? salad? dessert? Their mother was preparing them to try new tastes and textures, and to eat, with gratitude, whatever was put before them.
The power of diversity
“Diversity gives the brain a powerful workout. And, just like a physical workout, it can be incredibly good for us,” says Julie Van de Vyver, assistant professor of Psychology at Durham University.
We may tend to gravitate toward people with whom we share life experiences and values, but Julie goes on to say, “When people are exposed to a more diverse group of people, their brains are forced to process complex and unexpected information. [We see this in] teens who study abroad and demonstrate enhanced creativity.”
Take the same attitude toward spiritual exploration.
As adults we need to develop and guide children’s innate spirituality. We encourage open dialogue and exploration as children engage in their own journeys of ongoing discovery—even it if makes us uncomfortable, and even if we run the risk of them coming to different conclusions from our own. Our role is not to make their choices for them—which we cannot do anyway—but to guide them in their own unique process of spiritual development.
Some ideas–
Read books or watch movies about children with different religious backgrounds from your family.- Welcome friends to share your religious holiday traditions and then switch and participate in theirs.
Opening ourselves to new experiences can seem hard to do, but it can help children cross divides and create a feeling of connectedness with others and with the divine.
* Inspiration for this post here.
Tweetable: Reflections on the power of diversity, even in spiritual exploration with children. Become an advocate for them to form their own expressions. Click to Tweet
Feb 18, 2019 | Direction, Nourishment
A neighbor of mine shared his mother’s words of wisdom in our local paper. It got me thinking about how I’m passing along wisdom to the children in my life.
My neighbor’s (partial) list
- You don’t dress to impress. You dress to show your respect to others.
- Life’s not fair. Get over it and move on.
- Don’t let your career find you. Find what you were made to do.
- Knowledge comes from school. Maturity sometimes comes with age. Wisdom comes from the Bible.
- Something worth doing is seldom easy.
- Your logic can be perfect, but your facts could be wrong.
Obviously these are not the only words of wisdom that my neighbor lives by, but he’s found a way to frame life by a series of sayings leading to a satisfying life.
There’s power in wisdom
We want the kids we love to end up knowing how to judge rightly and follow the soundest course of action. We teach by example, springing from our:
Wait for a kid’s “hmm” or moment of silence
I usually know when I’ve made connection with a child. Typically it’s followed by a few second of silence as they process a new thought. Sometimes they look off into the distance for a moment. We can leave an even deeper impression when we make eye contact or touch their shoulder or arm as we’re speaking. I learned from Becky Bailey that “connections on the outside with others build neuro-connections on the inside.”
Wisdom is what I hope to impart to kids
When we open our ears and eyes to what kids are feeling, acting out on and thinking about, we build on their life experiences and their perceptions of the world. Our power lies in asking follow-up questions or making 10-words-or-less observations about what they’ve shared. This promotes wisdom in them, a legacy I find worth leaving.
Tweetable; Each day, so much information comes to us and the kids we love. Check out the benefits that Wisdom has to offer. Knowledge is necessary, but search for Wisdom like a treasure. Read more. Click to Tweet
