Feb 4, 2019 | Nourishment, Nurture
Over the past 15 years, large strides have been made in the science behind how the brain develops and the settings and contexts that are conducive to learning. It’s brought exciting insights for enriching the human spirit!
Daily settings for increased brain development
Social relationships, emotional experiences and cognitive opportunities provide purposeful learning paths for the brain. Drive conversations causing kids to reflect upon, make sense of, and learn from the often misunderstood spiritual dimension. A child’s world may be seriously impoverished if we don’t.
As the brain develops, so does the human spirit.
The child’s spirit needs hope, and the comfort of knowing that a loving God is with them, watching over them wherever they are, wherever they go. Ask them, “When did you feel God’s love today?” They need to know what to do when they mess up and how to handle guilt. They want to know what God is like, and how to make a personal connection with God.
What we can do
Feed the child’s human spirit when, in responding to their questions and comments about God, we convey God’s love, affection, warmth and tenderness for the child. Make use of nurturing touch, empathy, empowerment, and unconditional love with children, to reflect the heart of our unseen God. Explore your own family’s religious or spiritual traditions to find accurate information about God. Where you find a disconnect here, go to trusted friends and sacred writings for wisdom.
Genuinely pursue a whole-child approach.
Not only are kids more likely to feel at peace with God, but they are more likely to care for others, and to pass that spiritual nurture down to future generations of children in their lives.
*(I read about the brain basis for integrated whole child development emerging from the lab of Dr. Mary Helen Immordino-Yang in USC’s alumni magazine.)
Dec 10, 2018 | Direction
When did you realize you wanted to blog?
When I finished writing Child-Centered Spirituality but before its publication, several smart people recommended that I start a blog so that I’d have a place to raise issues around the subject.
How did you feel when you started writing?
Nervous. Unsure. I wondered if there would be enough to write about and whether anyone was going to read it.
What did you learn from the past five years?
I learned that child-centered spirituality is of interest to many families and to (almost) all children. Once adults realize that we don’t talk about religion here, but matters of the spirit, their guard goes down and they focus on understanding a child’s own special way of relating with God, supporting and resourcing it, even when it’s different from the adult’s style.
Who helped you along the way toward this 5th blog anniversary?
- Tara Miller, coauthor of Child-Centered Spirituality, read all the posts and offered suggestions. She’s been a guest blogger on occasion.
- Alisha Ule provided technical support and set up Instagram, a Facebook page, and Twitter account. She contributes the art ideas, creates the posters for quotations and more.
- Michelle Coe steered the book launch and designed the book cover.
- Annette Schalk did the German translations for four years.
- Robert Logan provided major funding for the project.
- Readers gave ideas for discussion through their questions and comments.
Why did you decide to offer Child-Centered Spirituality Workshop events?
After the book came out in November 2017 (Amazon & Kindle) I was impressed with an idea that wouldn’t go away:
Through the book’s message, families can recognize the great need to pay attention to children’s spiritual development to the same degree that they encourage intellectual, social, emotional and physical growth. The book describes the big picture issues with age-appropriate aids for adults to utilize with kids. But how does this happen in the ordinariness of everyday life? How does a child form a bond with God?
The workshop uncovers seven styles people use to connect with God in their most natural way, with emphasis on children.
The first workshop was held in April 2018 in Pasadena, CA. Since then, it’s been in Nashville and Colorado Springs, with more coming in 2019. Contact janet@childcenteredspirituality If your faith community, service organization or parochial school wants more info.
Tweetable: Book now for a Child-centered Spirituality workshop to come to your service organization, faith community or parochial school. Go here for details. Click to Tweet.
Dec 3, 2018 | trust
“Who can tell us what Hanukkah means?” asked Ms. Simon my third-grade teacher one long ago December day. My hand shot up eagerly and I started into the story of how Judah Maccabee led a revolt against the Syrians. I continued with descriptions of the dreidel game and the nine candles on a menorah. She was impressed enough by my knowledge of the holiday that she mentioned it to my mother at the next parent-teacher conference. That’s when Ms. Simon admitted her astonishment that we are not a Jewish family.
A seed planted: Respect
During the four years we lived in that Los Angeles neighborhood, I assimilated both Jewish and Christian traditions into my childhood spirituality. You know how kids are: I thought this was something every family did. For me, it wasn’t a matter of learning to respect. Respect for a different tradition was the norm in my home so I did it.
A seed planted: Find the common denominator
In my teen years my mother, a gifted teacher and storyteller, decided to offer a holiday program to area churches which were planning a December social event for their members. Her theme was common ground. I remember only five points in her outline — significance of light in both holidays, back stories, gift-giving, use of traditional foods, for instance, latkes or eggnog, and music.
My guitar and I went along to these popular events to entertain. But more was going on in my spiritual formation during these Christmas-Hanukkah programs. I caught the importance of a focus on how we are alike rather than different, though our theological differences are not insignificant.
Seeds sprout into Child-Centered Spirituality
It was a natural outgrowth of my upbringing to envision a book for families of any religion or no religion. In it, my coauthor Tara Miller and I pass along practical ideas and suggestions to assist family members in the spiritual development of their children to the same degree that grandparents, aunts, uncles and parents encourage emotional, social, intellectual, physical development.
Childhood spiritual development is occurring for the children you love during this 2018 holiday season. What part do you want to have in facilitating it?
Tweetable: My parents’ choice to celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas planted a valuable seed of respect in me. Read the positive effects here. Click to Tweet
Oct 15, 2018 | Direction
Robert Fulghum famously said, “All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.” Two years after they graduated from kindergarten these girls expanded upon “Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody,” thanks to their mothers joining forces to teach some conflict resolution.
A good friend of mine told me her experience.
“My 7-year-old daughter Sophie came home one day very upset because her best friend Mariah said something insensitive about her height.
Sophie was very short for her age, and sensitive about it. Mariah, who was tall for her age, had no understanding that someone might be sensitive about her height.
I called Mariah’s mom and explained the situation. Both of us wanted to teach our daughters how to work through conflict productively.
Moms and daughters get together.
We set up a meeting time for Sophie to share how she felt, for Mariah to hear, understand it, and apologize, and for Sophie to accept the apology and restore the relationship.
Both girls were afraid, as neither liked conflict, but they worked through the process as we coached them.
The result was a restored friendship, rather than the growing distance that occurs when hurt feelings go unaddressed.
The family gets involved.
Our family was later able to talk about that experience of recognizing when you have done something wrong and using courtesy when asking for and receiving forgiveness.”
Tweetable: Two moms join forces to teach a simple lesson in conflict resolution to their daughters. To what degree are you and your closest friends teaming up for some of these important life lessons? Click to Tweet
Sep 3, 2018 | Direction
What is child-centered spirituality and why is it important? Here’s the short answer and a story from someone who is in the loop with it.
What is child-centered spirituality?
It is listening to and nurturing what is already inside a child’s soul. The way to encourage children’s innate longing for the divine is found in opening yourself up to their world, in asking them questions and answering theirs, in listening. It is about honoring the soul–the sacred space within them.
It’s serving more as guides, or even fellow journeyers, than we do as teachers. It is working on the assumption that spirituality already exists inside the heart of every child, and that God is already at work there. Maybe our role is just to help facilitate and develop what is already resident there.
Why is it important?
Children’s faith in God’s presence with them, in God’s goodness and care for them, can sustain the mental and emotional resiliency they need to live. It can provide perspective on life and death, eternity, guilt, grace, forgiveness. Children’s inner spiritual anchor can be a safe place to turn when life’s challenges come upon them. Older children will, as we all do, turn to something when they feel overwhelmed. Yesterday’s lead article in my local newspaper was, “Xanax abuse rising at schools.”
In the loop with Jay
I dove into teenage life for all it was worth. My energies and activities, my adventures, risks, and yes–faith meant I found a second home in faith communities independent of my family. I settled easily into the context of a church youth group and a Christian club at school.
My parents practiced child-centered spirituality. They recognized my need for adults outside the family who knew me well and I drank deeply from the water these adults provided. That I went on to become a high school English teacher was a natural extension of all I learned and eagerly wanted to offer others in those pivotal years.
Now with our own children, my wife and I take best practices from our parents and our own experiences that we hope will make a developmentally positive and enduring spiritual difference.
Tweetable: Get in the loop with childhood spirituality. The proven benefits of making peace with God should be encouragement enough to invest time and attention in their holistic development. Click to Tweet
The child’s spirit needs hope, and the comfort of knowing that a loving God is with them, watching over them wherever they are, wherever they go. Ask them, “When did you feel God’s love today?” They need to know what to do when they mess up and how to handle guilt. They want to know what God is like, and how to make a personal connection with God.