Knowing what’s right moves some kids to action

The source of spiritual strength for some children lies in their focus on right and wrong. For them, knowing what’s right moves them to action. Teachers and parents can teach them safe practices for speaking up, and how to involve responsible adults as they advocate for change.

Conversation starter

Main idea: When you feel angry or sad about a wrong being done, you get moving to change it.

Meditation: “Come back to your God. Act with love and justice, and always depend on him.” Hosea 12:6

Let’s talk: Describe a time when you stood up for truth and justice. What kind of courage did you show? In what ways did you sense God’s presence with you to help you?

Rediscovering the sacred, for kids’ sake!

Mr. Rogers treated children and their inner lives as sacred. Sacred is defined as connected with God; holy; blessed.

sacred and spiritual life“Talking to children about God is a key component of their sense of self,” says Rabbi David Wolpe. “Children are taught that they are important, but why are they important?” He continues, “Ask children why they matter. I have asked thousands of children, ‘Why are you important?’ The usual answers are, ‘I get good grades; I am good at sports; I have a job; my parents love me.’

“All these answers spell trouble, because they are all based on something human, and everything human can change. Are we always going to be the brightest in the class, or have that job or feel our parents’ love? Do you really want your child’s self-esteem to be based on your emotional constitution? Is there no varying basis for self-worth?”

Made in God’s image

“The Bible says that God created human beings in the divine image. What if we could say to a child: ‘All your qualities are wonderful, but beyond all that, you matter because you are in the image of God?’ God loves you and that love never changes.

A strong sense of self

When we do that, not only have we given children a constant basis of self-esteem, but a noncomparative basis. Teaching children about God is a way of giving a firm footing to their spiritual life.” *

As adults we can learn how to look for the sacred—the image of God—in everyday life. And then we can show the children we love how to look for the sacred in their daily lives. Imagine the impact it would make on our neighborhoods.

*Rabbi David Wolpe’s words are taken from My Jewish Learning.

Tweetable: Finding the sacred moments in everyday living is more valuable than power or money because these moments connect us to God who loves us unconditionally and this is good news to kids. Click to Tweet

Extended family and friends: what we offer to kids

extended family handsWithin my family I’m a great-aunt, and to some of my friends, I’m “like-an-aunt” to their kids or grandchildren.  I’m also “like-a-grandma” to two dear children. What spiritual impact can extended family have on kids?

Time well spent

We’re inching our way toward time well spent with the children we love. I find that kids appreciate one-on-one time most. Sherry Turkle, psychologist at MIT, says,”There’s a brand-new dynamic. Rather than compete with their siblings for their parents’ attention, children are up against iPhones and iPads, Siri and Alexa, Apple watches and computer screens.” Extended family can give children additional undivided attention outside of busy everyday family life.  We listen and mirror back to a child what we hear, which helps them process and accept what they feel and think.

Discover life’s purpose

When’s the last time you pulled out your phone to do something and you get distracted, and 30 minutes later you find that you’ve done 10 other things except the thing that you pulled out the phone to do. There’s fragmentation and distraction.

For kids who do this, there’s something on a longer-term level to keep in view: that sense of what you’re about.

Extended family has the luxury of spending a child’s free time with them. As we have fun together without gadgets, we adults can create a shared narrative with a child, a shared truth or shared facts. All of these strengthen a child’s foundation upon which they discover their moral purpose. We’re empowering a child to become the person he or she wants to be.

 

Tweetable: Two more easy ways to empower children to become the person he or she wants to be. But first, put down those gadgets but not before you check this out!  Click to Tweet

Empathy–do this simple, free activity with kids

After reading Bob Sornson’s book, Stand in My Shoes: Kids learning about empathy, Sheila Sjolseth wrote about a family activity worth sharing with our readers.

The ability to notice what others feel

Empathy is “the ability to notice what other people feel. Empathy leads to the social skills and personal relationships which make our lives rich…, and it is something we can help our children learn,” says Bob Sornson,

Sheila’s idea

empathy shoes exerciseI’m quoting here from Sheila’s account of what she did to reinforce the book’s theme with her children.  “The book is about a little girl in her quest to learn to think from another’s perspective, recognize need, and see ways to help fill those needs.  In nine different situations where someone needs help, the main character tries to imagine what that person is going through and attempts to help.”

After reading the story and discussion the situations, we decided to try and look at life from the perspective of the members in our family.”

We wanted to answer the questions:

  • What bothers this person?
  • What makes this person happy?

We gathered up our shoes

empathy boy's shoe“We took turns standing in each other’s shoes and tried to imagine what it is like to be the other person in order to answer the questions.

Some of the answers were funny:

“When wearing my shoes, to answer the question “What bothers Mom?”–one boy answered, “smelly toots.”  The other boy said, “when we don’t eat our food.”  And, I realized that he was right!  It bothers me when the boys don’t eat.

The activity just took a few minutes

But we learned that we knew quite a bit about each other.  When we didn’t really know the answer, other members of the family chimed in to help out.  And, it is always silly fun to try and walk around in someone else’s shoes!

My spiritual takeaway

When we practice empathy we bring God’s character to bear in life situations. God understands everything we feel and we in turn extend this understanding to others with whom we share life.

* Find Sheila Sjolseth here.

Tweetable: Keep on trying–teach kids to recognize need and think of ways to meet needs for people close to them at school or home. This simple, quick, imaginative activity might get the point across to some kids in your life. Click to Tweet

Put a child’s spiritual curiosity to work for you!

During my marriage, my ex and I discussed taking our kids to various houses of worship. They were curious about—envious of?—their churchgoing peers. Though we viewed organized religion with suspicion, we still wondered, How would our kids know what they believed about everything if they’d never been exposed to anything?” (Amanda Avutu)

Amanda’s own curiosity guided her response to her kids.

  • “What did a spirituality built on the tenets of love and hope look like?curiosity love
  • If I could separate faith from organized religion, could I become a believer?
  • What could I gain from contemplating everything I’d summarily dismissed in my youth?
  • What did I want to practice—cynicism? Judgment?
  • What if—through charitable work, acts of kindness, the lessons I was teaching my children—I had been practicing all along? Maybe I hadn’t forsaken religion; I had just reimagined it.”

Amanda’s way with her children

Recently, I drove the kids to Ebenezer Baptist Church, here in Atlanta, for Sunday service. Save weddings, they’d never been inside a place of worship. We listened to a descendant of Robert E. Lee preach at the pulpit of Martin Luther King, Jr., and I thought, We are all capable of so much more change than we realize.

My children and I now have plans to visit Buddhist, Hindu, and Jewish temples; a mosque; and at least one more church. Not as voyeurs, or converts, but out of openhearted curiosity and respect.

Ideas for your family

  1. curiosity teenRespond actively when children express curiosity or envy over their friends religious/spiritual beliefs.
  2. Work out an age-appropriate plan to explore spirituality with the child. Any combination of these resources is possible:
    1. Attend houses of worship
    2. Internet search of faith traditions or ethical systems
    3. Read together children’s books based upon sacred writings
  3. Keep your focus on listening to the child’s thoughts; ask follow-up questions to help the child process more deeply; allow the child to lead next steps; give priority to those next steps.

(In an old issue of O magazine, I ran across an article that featured the words of author Amanda Avutu. They struck a chord.)

Tweetable: How #Martin Luther King’s pulpit still enlightens a modern-day family searching for their spiritual identity.  Click to Tweet