The experience of God is certainly unique to each individual. Some speak of God as largely inside of us. Others say God is watching us from a distance. Even in religious families who share a theology, each family member walks on his or her own daily path in relationship to God.
How can I show children some possible avenues for experiencing God?
Perhaps some of the ideas below will spark your thinking, fitting them into your understanding of God, if necessary.
When difficult or frightening events have occurred in my life, I have explained to the child how I sensed God was present with me.
I am able to discuss with the child the varied avenues or ways God has used to communicate with me and/or others.
I am in touch with God’s presence in the world and see evidence of God working behind the scenes. I am able to engage in conversations with the child about “coincidences.”
When the child expresses disappointment or doubt, I respond with empathy. I encourage him or her to take those feelings directly to God, emphasizing that God is not put off by them.
One father told his kids how he found God communicating with him (see #2 above):
Now I am not someone who claims to hear from God regularly and you know I’m not particularly religious. But there is one time in my life—when the two of you were just a few years old—that I am convinced God was speaking to me.
I was about to go for a snowmobile ride and in all the many times I have gone snowmobiling I have never used a helmet. But this particular day I had this strong sense of a voice telling me to put on a helmet. It wasn’t an audible voice, but it was just as insistent as if it were.
I tried to ignore it, but it wouldn’t go away: “Put on a helmet.” I didn’t even own a helmet. After a couple of hours, I finally gave up and went out to go buy a helmet. I wore it that day and got into a terrible accident where I broke both legs, one arm, and a lot of ribs. The doctor said I would definitely have died if not for the helmet.
I believe that was God’s way of trying to keep me alive because he knew your mother would be dying of cancer just a few years later.
Our task is to give a firm footing to a child’s experience of God.
Tweetable: 4 ideas to guide your conversation when a child talks about sensing or experiencing God. Click to Tweet
Children are just like us… we practice occasional acts of kindness toward others, but more generally take an outlook focused on ourselves. How can we encourage acts of kindness so children’s perspectives focus outward more often — on the gifts they have to contribute to the world? On the good they can do for others? On understanding the feelings and perspectives of others?
Think through this list with one specific child in mind.
I support the child’s wish to offer hospitality through his or her invitations to family, friends and even strangers.
I use my money, time and talents for the good of myself and my family while also considering the needs of others. The child has seen me set aside money for charitable contributions.
I encourage the child to use his or her own money, time and talents in service to others. I can then point to specific ways the child did this.
When praying, I notice I am able to say “Thanks God,” in addition to asking for favors. Many times I tell the child what I am thankful for and we talk about gratitude.
When the child practices spontaneous acts of kindness or generosity, I notice and point it out to the child.
Such a posture doesn’t come about naturally for most of us.
It requires some effort and intentionality, as seen in this parent’s story.
My daughter, now 13, still remembers the morning we passed a woman at an intersection with a sign asking for help. Being 5 years old, she could read the words “Hungry. Have some spare change? Anything helps.”
As my daughter reached for the spare change I keep in the car for parking meters, I explained, “Sometimes it’s not good to give money directly, but her sign says she is hungry, so maybe she would like some breakfast.”
At that, my daughter brightened and we drove around the block to pass the woman again. She readily agreed to breakfast and smiled at my cute curly-haired girl.
We had breakfast at the 24-hour diner on the corner and listened to some of her story she was willing to share.
It left a lasting impression on my daughter, as well as a continuing desire to help the poor.
Review the five points again. What are some ways you can help the children in your life practice generous living?
Tweetable: How we encourage acts of kindness so children’s perspectives focus outward more often. 5 ideas here. Click to Tweet
“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” (Albert Schweitzer, Nobel Peace Prize 1952). Can’t we all think of occasions when we have seen the truth of this in our own lives? As a result, we should seize any opportunity to include children in service to others.
Service means sacrifice.
True service costs you something. That “something” could be time, money or social capital. When we truly serve others, it costs us. Children instinctively know this. Help them count the cost.
See how this girl sacrificed social capital.
My friend’s 8-year-old daughter was talking about a girl in her class who kept trying to hang out with her and her group of friends, but no one liked her and no one wanted to include her. My friend told her this story:
When I was in 5th grade, we had a girl named Cora who was new to the school. She came from a poor family, wore old sweatsuits to school and sometimes smelled bad. She seemed sad and lonely.
The kids would tease her in ways that–looking back now–were really mean. I didn’t join in on the teasing, but I wasn’t particularly friendly either.
One day, I was chosen to be one of the team captains for a Spelling Bee. Back in those days, the captains would take turns choosing people for their team until no one was left. Cora was always chosen last, no matter what the teams were for.
I decided today would be different. I chose Cora first, even before my best friend. I still remember the look of surprise and delight on her face as she jumped up to join my team.
Even now, in my 40s, that’s one of my proudest moments.
Consider ways you can show children how to take initial steps toward outward service.
I help the child learn to recognize when people are calling for love or help. From time to time I ask, “Who do we know who needs a blessing today?”
I use my childhood stories of standing up for what was right to encourage the child to walk away from doing wrong, even when friends do not.
I encourage the child to be involved with ecology–preserving and restoring the earth.
The child sees me perform spiritual activities (meditation, service to others).
When the child talks about those in distress (animals, the planet, people), I find non-profit organizations that alleviate the suffering and encourage the child to join or help.
Which have you tried in the past? What could you try this week? with which child?
Tweetables:
Consider these ways you can show children how to take initial steps toward service to others. Click to Tweet
True service to others costs something: time, money, social capital. Teach children to count the cost. Click to Tweet
If you have been following this blog for any length of time, you know the spiritual development of a child begins and ends with the choices of the child. We cannot (and should not try to) force a child into a particular belief or spiritual practice.
Yet we can walk beside them to provide support their their journey of discovery. They want trusted adults to act as sounding boards and coaches as they work out their spiritual questions and ideas.
Specifically, what is the adult’s role?
In this next series of blog entries, you can browse 8 different components or categories within human spirituality and select ways to engage with the important children in your life.We will look at one each week for the next eight weeks.
8 Components of Spirituality
Personal transformation
Authentic relationships
Generous living
Spiritual responsiveness
Sacrificial service
Guiding others
Community transformation
Experiencing God
For each of these general areas we’ll provide lists, specific examples, and ideas you can take and use to strengthen the child’s human spirit. You decide which are best for you.
Cull our lists.
Recognize you may need to adapt certain items to fit well with your spiritual tradition or beliefs. For example, if sacred writings are mentioned, which ones do you mean? Or if showing hospitality or caring for the earth aren’t values or important parts of your tradition, are there other values you substitute for them?
Above all, remember never to force.
The adult’s role is to model, initiate conversations, and provide resources and opportunities. The adult’s role is not force or indoctrination.
Take your time.
Spiritual development takes a lifetime and cannot be crammed. Be careful not to push kids where they’re not ready. A checklist of ideas is not something you can go through in a month or a year.
Chart your path forward.
Focus more mindfully on spiritual development now and your decisions can improve the child’s future.
Tweetable: New series directs adults to the priority moral values a child needs for spiritual proficiency. Click to Tweet
For young children, Christmas and Halloween are very much alike: one is a time to get presents and the other is a time to get candy. Older children are more likely to hear friends speak of Christmas as Jesus’ birthday, which may give rise to questions about why Jesus is so important that his birthday is a holiday.
I asked some adults this question and here’s what they say:
Jesus was a good teacher. We can read the book of Luke in the Bible to learn more about what he taught.
Jesus was born, not just as an ordinary baby, but sent by God to show us how to get closer to God and understand better what God is like.
Jesus was God’s gift to us, so we celebrate his birthday by giving gifts to each other.
It is not only Jesus’ teachings which make him so remarkable
…although these would be enough to give him a holiday of his own. It is a combination of the teachings with the man himself.
Here’s what Jesus himself said about why he came into the world
My purpose is to give you a full and satisfying life.
I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.
The one who sent me is with me–I always do what pleases him.
Ask children why Jesus’ birthday gets him his own holiday
Ask them what they think about Jesus and Christmas. Their answers in this 2 minute video may surprise you, bring you the biggest smile (laugh) of your day, and inspire you to ask them some questions.
Tweetable: Children try to answer simple questions about Christmas in a 2 minute video here. Click to Tweet
The experience of God is certainly unique to each individual. Some speak of God as largely inside of us. Others say God is watching us from a distance. Even in religious families who share a theology, each family member walks on his or her own daily path in relationship to God.
Perhaps some of the ideas below will spark your thinking, fitting them into your understanding of God, if necessary.
Children are just like us… we practice occasional acts of kindness toward others, but more generally take an outlook focused on ourselves. How can we encourage acts of kindness so children’s perspectives focus outward more often — on the gifts they have to contribute to the world? On the good they can do for others? On understanding the feelings and perspectives of others?
I support the child’s wish to offer hospitality through his or her invitations to family, friends and even strangers.
My daughter, now 13, still remembers the morning we passed a woman at an intersection with a sign asking for help. Being 5 years old, she could read the words “Hungry. Have some spare change? Anything helps.”
“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” (Albert Schweitzer, Nobel Peace Prize 1952). Can’t we all think of occasions when we have seen the truth of this in our own lives? As a result, we should seize any opportunity to include children in service to others.
When I was in 5th grade, we had a girl named Cora who was new to the school. She came from a poor family, wore old sweatsuits to school and sometimes smelled bad. She seemed sad and lonely.
If you have been following this blog for any length of time, you know the spiritual development of a child begins and ends with the choices of the child. We cannot (and should not try to) force a child into a particular belief or spiritual practice.
Specifically, what is the adult’s role?
Cull our lists.
