Oct 14, 2019 | Attachment
For some children, the accuracy of their beliefs is very important because, from these beliefs, he or she will stand for a cause, even at great personal expense.
Main idea: When you understand the truth of a situation or a principle, you stand up for it.
Meditation: “The Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8
Let’s talk: How did you express your Christian beliefs or ethics this past week?
Jun 10, 2019 | Nurture
Mr. Rogers treated children and their inner lives as sacred. Sacred is defined as connected with God; holy; blessed.
“Talking to children about God is a key component of their sense of self,” says Rabbi David Wolpe. “Children are taught that they are important, but why are they important?” He continues, “Ask children why they matter. I have asked thousands of children, ‘Why are you important?’ The usual answers are, ‘I get good grades; I am good at sports; I have a job; my parents love me.’
“All these answers spell trouble, because they are all based on something human, and everything human can change. Are we always going to be the brightest in the class, or have that job or feel our parents’ love? Do you really want your child’s self-esteem to be based on your emotional constitution? Is there no varying basis for self-worth?”
Made in God’s image
“The Bible says that God created human beings in the divine image. What if we could say to a child: ‘All your qualities are wonderful, but beyond all that, you matter because you are in the image of God?’ God loves you and that love never changes.
A strong sense of self
When we do that, not only have we given children a constant basis of self-esteem, but a noncomparative basis. Teaching children about God is a way of giving a firm footing to their spiritual life.” *
As adults we can learn how to look for the sacred—the image of God—in everyday life. And then we can show the children we love how to look for the sacred in their daily lives. Imagine the impact it would make on our neighborhoods.
*Rabbi David Wolpe’s words are taken from My Jewish Learning.
Tweetable: Finding the sacred moments in everyday living is more valuable than power or money because these moments connect us to God who loves us unconditionally and this is good news to kids. Click to Tweet
Oct 1, 2018 | Nourishment
Smile whenever you see courtesy in a child you’re close to. You are a walking, talking, indelible image of how to make your corner of the world a better place. Your courtesy efforts multiply because they are doing what you do.
Family members were happy to share these experiences.
- “The kids lower their voices when they are on their cellphones in public. When I was trying to learn to do this, I used to say that if I’m having trouble hearing someone, raising my voice doesn’t fix it.”
- “When my daughter is wearing headphones, I’ve seen her become more aware of staying tuned to social courtesies. When I accidentally cross someone’s personal space, I apologize and she is picking up on this.”
- “My family doesn’t show up at a party empty-handed, unless we’ve been instructed to. We bring a food item (but not always to serve then) or a plant. My daughter spoke up from the backseat recently when I completely forgot to do this so we stopped and picked something up.”
- “If our children are invited to a friend’s house to play, they also feel invited to help with the cleanup. That’s been a tough one to learn but it’s coming along.”
- “Since people offend me at times, once in a while when my child is with me, I’m open about my ups and downs on the road to forgiving. I generally let my son in on the conversation as I’m working it out and even ask him what he would do.”
- “My nephew was watching as someone started a rant with me about politics. Later I talked to him about why I did not inject my own political opinions but simply summarized this friend’s position to her, letting her know I heard her.”
What easy acts of courtesy can you add to this list?
“Courtesy is a small act but it packs a mighty wallop.” –Lewis Carroll
Tweetable: Pivot away from today’s disheartening rhetoric toward the elaborate courtesy your own children offered to many people they were with. Go here for a smile. Click to Tweet
Aug 13, 2018 | Nurture
“Awe is the feeling of being in the presence of something vast or beyond human scale, that transcends our current understanding of things,” according to Dacher Keltner. He leads UC Berkeley’s Social Interaction Lab and he helped Facebook create the recent additions of emoji’s to the Like feature.
When is the last time you felt awe?
For me, it was experiencing a whole sequence of events line up so that I was in the right place at the right time to be of assistance to someone. The sheer number of converging variables demanded an explanation beyond coincidence.
For Immanuel Kant: “Two things awe me most, the starry sky above me and the moral law within me.”
Michael Lerner says: “Nothing is more contagious than genuine love and genuine care. Nothing is more exhilarating than authentic awe and wonder.” He says that the universe produces a feeling of awe for him.
Goodness. Beauty. Truth.
Adults and children alike experience awe. We hold that in common. Feeling amazed by goodness, beauty or truth seems to be a universal human response. I ask myself, “Is awe one of the pathways God provides for humanity to experience God? Could it be that feelings of awe are yet another attempt made by a loving God to connect with each of us? How can I provide awe-inspiring experiences for the children in my life?”
Ideas for kids
The second half of this article gives specific ideas of how families can experience awe.
Paula Scott, from her article here on awe, adds another idea, “High school teacher Julie Mann takes her students on ‘Awe Walks’ to connect with nature or art. When they write about these experiences and share them in the classroom, she says, kids who never talk in class or pay attention come to life. ‘It helps them feel less marginalized, with a sense that life is still good.’ She suggests journaling, collage, photography, drawing as ways for students to reflect about awe for time, space, amazing events and people.”
Click to Tweet: We call it goosebumps, spine-tingling, tears in our eyes amazement. Good ideas here to add more wonder to everyday life. Click to Tweet
Mar 26, 2018 | Security
If children are hearing news reports of recent national and international events, some of them want to talk about feeling upset by the anger and tension they sense between opposing groups.
Pediatricians, child psychologists and others make available solid advice to guide us through these conversations. We offer additional ideas if you choose to bring in the moral dimension.
Sometimes groups of people are mad at each other because…
- They perceive that something is not right and, without moral concern, the world would be a dreadful place indeed.
- They perceive that nothing is being done about the wrong. An important purpose for anger is to motivate us to take constructive action.
- People are insensitive to their opinions and beliefs. Their most important opinions or beliefs are being shouted down or ignored. They’re afraid that harm is going to come to them and those they care about.
- They cannot make other people change and they feel like they don’t have the power, energy or force to produce any effect or change.
- What other reasons can you add to this list?
Know when to stand firm for your beliefs.
At times, people need to take a stand and do it publicly. They are ready to do this when they’ve learned how to remain composed when others do not share their convictions. Otherwise their public demonstrations can become belligerent and bitter and onlookers lose the message they intended to convey.
Being right can lead to being wrong.
It is possible to be so filled with good opinions that those opinions seem to justify unloving outbursts and actions. People become judgmental and rage, taking revenge, picking up weapons, or any other number of harmful acts.
Speak up with love
- Hold firmly to your convictions while refusing to enter a power struggle. True assertiveness is anchored in the positive message you want to communicate, not in what’s wrong with the other group’s viewpoint.
- Find balance when your anger is linked to a reasonable issue and you communicate it responsibly.
- Aha! Parenting reminds us that “In a democracy, through a long and respectable history of peaceful protest and civil disobedience, change was created in the face of entrenched power structures.”
Tweetable: Ideas for responding to kids who are unsettled by their perception that people are so mad at each other lately. Click to Tweet
