“When you search for beauty, it is always found. When you search for meanness, it is always found. The choice is yours.” (Dr. Becky Bailey)
And choices repeated–I would add–become habits.
This school year, look for the best in teachers and administrators.
Granted, I was a teacher, so I am a bit biased. But it helps children immensely when the important adults in their life are aligned with each other. It is easy to see the best in teachers when they are wonderful, doing above or beyond. It is much harder to hold this perception when things are difficult.
We know it is impossible to assess the intentions of teachers accurately.
Yet we often focus our attention on what is wrong or lacking in the classroom. Our brains have been trained to attribute negative intentions to others and ourselves.
Reframe your thinking about the school situation.
Try shifting your beliefs about the teacher’s motives from negative to positive. Regardless of whether what the teacher is doing is working well or not, try to assume they are well-intentioned.
These statements, made by teachers I know personally, represent the majority attitude among school personnel.
A Special Education teacher says: Personally my “job within the job” is to make sure my students know how valuable they are. People are always being evaluated and judged. Kids know that people value those who are the best. Studies show that the better readers are also more popular.
I want my Special Ed students to know that the value of a human being is much more than what you can do. I tell them, “You are beautiful and valued and loved and you matter to me.”
A kindergarten teacher shows us her motives: “As a teacher, I am given a tremendous responsibility to mold the minds of my students through the curriculum. When I spend time affirming and nourishing the children’s spirit in class, I see confident children!”
When you learn to attribute positive motives to teachers, you possess a powerful skill.
A skill that transforms opposition into cooperation.
- You join with the teacher as an ally in your child’s education.
- You foster a sense of security in your child when you see the best in his teacher. Children who feel secure are more likely to share feelings with you about their problems.
- You model for your child that people can think and act differently than you, and you accept them for who they are.
Note: I am indebted to Dr. Becky Bailey’s Conscious Discipline for her quote and her principle of Positive Intent adapted for this post.
- When you search for beauty, it is always found. When you search for meanness, it is always found. The choice is yours. (Becky Bailey) Click to Tweet
- How do you foster a sense of security in your child when you see the best in his teacher? Click to Tweet