If we work on the assumption that spirituality already exists inside every child, the impact we have on children even in the earliest stages of their development makes such a difference.
Many years ago I was told the story of a baby.
This baby was born to a mother addicted to crack cocaine.The little boy was born with an intense craving for the drug, and quickly went into withdrawal. He was inconsolable, crying and arching his back in pain. His mother was not available to him, as she was going through her own withdrawal.
A group of friends decided to take turns holding that little baby in two hour shifts around the clock. Even as he cried and felt pain, arms were always around him. Even when it looked to those holding him that their arms were having no soothing effect, they still held him. After what seemed like an eternity, all the drugs were out of his system and he was at peace… lying in the loving arms of his caregiver.
What difference do you imagine that made to the baby boy?
What did he learn about God even through unfair circumstances? How did his experiences shape him– even experiences he wouldn’t later be able to remember?
God is not a concept or an idea or a belief system to children. Children are literal and concrete. They can only understand God as a person with whom they have a relationship.
One thing I find interesting about this approach children take to God is how they can attach to God in much the same way they attach to their parents and caregivers.
Dr. Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. describes attachment as “the capacity to form and maintain healthy emotional relationships. This attachment, the emotional relationship, is not as easy to see or document, yet it is nonetheless as important for human development as the umbilical cord is in utero.
Babies are born ready to attach to a caregiver.
Researchers at the University of Dartmouth Medical School, embarking upon a study of infant attachment and child and adolescent brain development, reported that all scientific research now shows that from the time a baby is born the brain is already biologically formed to connect in relationships.
While an infant is experiencing delight in looking at the parent’s face, feeling warm bath water on her skin or being cuddled, the human spirit is doing its own attachment work within the young child. The human spirit is looking for a God who is able to know and be known. This “attachment view” of God underscores the personal relationship approach most children take to God.
Tweets:
Children can attach to God in much the same way they attach to their parents. Click to Tweet
The human spirit is looking for a God who is able to know and be known. Click to Tweet
One day last July I walked into the transitional living home where I was co-facilitating a support group. To my delight, the baby we had all been waiting on, had arrived. I got to hold him, light as a feather. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him and I whispered, “You are so precious.”
There’s something unmistakably spiritual about looking into the face of a newborn baby. The experience raises unfathomable questions that we’ll never fully know the answers to– questions of God, eternity and our place in the universe.
Doctors and researchers have examined how babies develop physically, marking milestones such as lifting their own heads, learning to crawl, learning to walk. Linguists and education experts have studied their intellectual development: object permanence, language processing, how they recognize different people. Parenting and behavioral specialists have researched how young children attach to caregivers, recognize social cues, and learn self-soothing skills. As a result, we’ve learned a lot about how babies and young children develop physically, emotionally, and intellectually.
Yet ultimately, caregivers know ways in which infancy and childhood can be seen through a spiritual lens but we don’t talk with each other about them. Why do you suppose that is?
My hope is that this blog will provide a unique window how a child’s spiritual needs are met and become a place to talk openly about it.
Seven years ago, the Child-Centered Spirituality website launched based upon the premise that a child’s spiritual development is as important as physical, emotional, intellectual, and social development.
Regular blog posts served as a vehicle for best practices and stories supporting that premise. The posts led to a book. The book led to a workshop. Now, this final blog.
With appreciation
Tara Miller, coauthor of Child-Centered Spirituality, edited the posts and offered suggestions for six years. She’s been a guest blogger on occasion.
Alisha Ule provided social media support. She contributed art ideas, created the posters for quotations and more.
Michelle Coe steered the book launch, designed the book cover and redesigned the website.
Annette Schalk did the German translations for four years.
Readers gave ideas for discussion through their questions and comments.
My reflections: People of faith who taught & coached me
I am certain that the rewards of beginning one’s spiritual journey in childhood are profound and plentiful. I am certain that wise adults who are good listeners matter to a child’s quality of spiritual life. As someone who had these adults in my childhood–and throughout my adult life–I can attest to the rewards that millions of people reap from living their life with God. Personally, I became a disciple of Jesus but I appreciate the broad reach that child-centered spirituality has enjoyed with families of all faiths.
My reflections: Rewarded with quality of life
A greater balance of mind, body, emotions and spirit produces a sense of well-being.
Increased awareness of God’s presence within and in the world around reduces fear and anxiety.
An attachment bond with God brings belonging and meaning.
Be blessed
May you be blessed with an abundant life anchored in the reality of who and what is Truth. Look for God’s presence in your everyday life. You’ll be surprised by how great is God’s love and how often God attempts to make you aware of his interest in you (and all God’s children) each day. May you find ways to make a difference in the lives of other people. Make it a top priority to support wholeheartedly the spiritual development of the children you love. Grace and peace to you. Amen.
Here’s another idea for anyone who sees the importance of nurturing a child’s spiritual development. It’s short, to-the-point. And so is this post.
This is the first of a series. We will offer a question that gives opportunity for an adult and child or teen to have a conversation of a spiritual nature. Not often. Just often enough to impress that our spirituality is worth talking about.
Please make a comment or offer other ideas for questions. We value your input.
Conversation starter
Main idea: You can put complete trust in God’s intention to bless you, not harm you.
Meditation:The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
Let’s talk: In the past week, how did you experience God’s comfort or nearness?
