3 years of making childhood spirituality fun

3rd-anniversaryAs we approach the 3rd anniversary of our blog, I give thanks for the trust many of you have placed in us as we offer wisdom for the most important children in your life. I can’t express enough my gratitude for our incredible Child-Centered Spirituality team and the joy every member takes in making the posts and articles happen at a high standard.

  • Tara Miller
  • Alisha Ule
  • Annette Schalk
  • Michelle Coe

Our imperative

Our imperative is to clarify why the health of a child’s soul and spirit is worth your engagement, fitting it with their emotional, mental and physical development.

Our aim is not answers but growth in spiritual development.

We seek to inspire you through a relatable story, to make you laugh or think, and to add value to your interactions with children. We hope any of our ideas that you choose to try make it easier for you to respond confidently when kids bring up life’s intangibles such as morality, conscience, God, character, purpose and more.

As we begin Year 4, together we will allow ourselves to be open to spiritual explorations and the directions they will take us. We’re figuring it out as we go, stumbling along, celebrating our progress, and loving the children in our lives the best we can.

Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.
–Buddha

Tweetable: Happy 3rd Anniversary, Child-Centered Spirituality. Making room for persons of all faiths and of no faith. Click to Tweet

 

God’s understudy: spirituality for kids in performing arts

theater curtainIs performing arts a passion for one of the kids in your life? Here’s an idea that may make sense to them as they continue to develop their spiritual life.

Be God’s understudy.

God’s understudy–learning, listening, practicing so we can stand in for God in the world around us. Say yes to continually learning your part and be ready at a moment’s notice to stand in for God.

What does that look like in daily life?

That might mean protecting someone being bullied at school, helping an elderly neighbor with yard work, or being careful to throw trash away rather than on the ground. It is living out two of the general moral rules we learn:

  • do no harm and
  • do good

Amid the diversity and magnificence of nature, we have work to do, and that is to take care of the oceans, of plants and animals, and of people, as we have opportunity.

stage-doorWhat similarities do you see to being a theatre understudy?

  1. Rehearsal does not exist. “You are responsible to know the role whether or not you get to do it on its feet. You have no other option than to live in the moment,” says Broadway understudy Bret Shuford.
  2. It feels a bit like skydiving.  Shuford continues, “Especially the first performance you go on, it’s a rush like nothing you’ve ever experienced. The scariest part is taking the first leap, but remember a beautiful, loving, cast and crew will always be there support you. You will surprise some people at what you’re able to accomplish in the role, and you may even surprise yourself.”
  3. Imitation is the highest form of flattery–sort of. An understudy has to replicate what the original star is doing, to a degree. “You have to honor the performance of the actor you’re covering,” explains Merwin Foard, who has covered 30 actors in 16 Broadway shows. “You don’t want to mimic… but you want to bring your own version of [the role] to life.”

high school rehearsalChallenging things, bad things, happen to the people around us.

Trouble and hardship are part of living. But faith means trusting that the God of heaven and earth loves us, walks with us, and sustains us through troubles. As God’s understudies, we hang in there with other people to make life more bearable, more livable and more joyful.

Tweetable: Our world could use more people who, like theatre understudies, stand in for God, in everyday life. Read more. Click to Tweet

Know any performing arts students who are spiritual? They may like the metaphor of being God’s understudy. Click to Tweet

 

3 ways to cheer up a child: self-talk

child with rabbitsJayaram V. observes, “[Self-talk] is your inseparable twin with which you have to live the rest of your life.” (writing on Hinduwebsite.com) We cheer up the children in our life when we show them how to ensure that their inseparable twin is affirming and truthful.

grandmother1st way to cheer up a child: We are in this together

For one week, speak freely about your self-talk. Say out loud what you’re telling yourself in your head, especially if it’s negative (keeping it age appropriate, obviously). Invite them to tell you when you either are not taking responsibility for your own behavior by blaming someone else, OR assuming responsibility for something that is not your fault.

Simultaneously call your kids’ attention to times they are doing the same thing. There is huge relief for children in shared experience.

2nd way to cheer up a child: You have the power to reject your lies

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” (Dr. Seuss)

In other words, the child gets to choose not to believe the myths anymore. Rejecting their lies is a conscious choice they make. They are the boss of their thoughts. This is great news!

3rd way to cheer up a child: Replace the lies with affirmations

teen girl01To reject certain statements as lies without replacing them with truth can send children into chaos: “If this is not true, what is?”

With pieces of their belief system missing, they don’t know who they are, what they’re supposed to do, or how things are supposed to work.

Ask questions that lead the child to reality: “Was it even your fault you weren’t at soccer practice? …. What was true?” Saying things out loud lets you listen to what you’re saying. Taking responsibility for failures comes easier when we’re open about it.

Spiritual affirmations

These affirmations can be adapted for your family’s values and beliefs.

  • I am important to God. God gives me the power to make a difference.
  • Some things are my fault and some are not. God helps me know the difference.
  • With the help of God and the people who love me, I can get through anything.
  • I can tell myself the truth. God can help me handle my anger in safe and healthy ways.
  • I cannot lose God’s love.
  • I am God’s child.
  • I am secure in God’s hand. Nothing I could ever do will ever make God let go of me.
  • I have a purposeful future. God has a good plan for my life.
  • I can trust God to guide me, even if it doesn’t make sense at the time.

Games and conversation starters

For games and conversation starters to change negative self-talk and have fun doing it, go here.

Tweetable:

  • These suggested spiritual affirmations can give children a foundation for positive self-talk. Click to Tweet
  • Practical actions we can take to challenge a child’s misinterpretations in their self-talk. Go here. Click to Tweet

5 overlooked ways your spiritual responsiveness furthers a child’s

Children think about God. They like to talk about God. Each person experiences God in a different way, and some not much at all. Some adults consider it a private matter, hesitating to speak of it even with the children we love most. It can be difficult for kids to learn responsiveness to God if we won’t give up a bit of our privacy.

father and son walk-2

How many of these statements are true of you?

  1. I pray in front of the child.
  2. I give concrete examples of when I have seen God at work in or around me, and how I responded to seeing that.
  3. I worship and highly esteem God, even more than I worship success, entertainment, money, or other people.
  4. Sometimes I start a conversation with the child: “I see God in that person. Do you want to know how?”
  5. When I see a stranger doing a random act of kindness I point it out to the child.

Consider each idea in turn, from the list above.

  • In which have you already engaged with specific children? What was their response?
  • Is there one you want to try? With which children?
  • Remember, you have the option to adapt the ideas to fit with your understanding of God, if necessary.

When you read the example below, in what specific ways do you see the mother modeling and teaching responsiveness to God?

pros and cons listWhen I was making a difficult decision about whether to take a particular job in another state, I intentionally decided to let my 9-year-old son in on my process. I told him about the opportunity and we made a Pros and Cons list, but we didn’t stop there.

I told him I wanted to pray to God about what God would want me to do. I asked my son if he would also pray and listen for whatever God might be telling him, especially since this decision affected him, too.

We prayed and talked together over the course of a few weeks, and eventually came to the same conclusion. This new job would provide many more opportunities for me to help people were were sick and in need. (I am in the medical field.)

There was nothing crucial to keep us in the location where we were. Even though the money would be less, we both felt released by God to move so that I could take this new opportunity.

Tweetable: It can be difficult for kids to learn spiritual responsiveness if we won’t give up a bit of our privacy. Click to Tweet

Spirituality: If you’re a child, you want this

Indian girlAlthough children often say they see spirituality differently, many adults insist either that we need never bring up spiritual matters at all or that we must instill our own beliefs about God into children.

Assumption #1: Spiritual matters are of little importance to children.

The first option may be found among adults who assume that spiritual matters are of little importance to children. The upshot can be to discourage open-minded exploration and discovery where almost all children are curious. Or simply to eliminate yourself as an interested party when children reach out to talk with someone about life and death and meaning.

Assumption #2: Children are blank slates.

The second option is common among more religious adults. The assumption is that children are blank slates, having no natural engagement with God on their own, and therefore need to be taught.

Sometimes the results can be damaging: children feeling forced into rigid belief systems at a time when they more naturally lean toward possibilities and questions. That can lead children to run from the very mention of God.

There is a third way…. Assumption #3: Spirituality already exists in the heart of every child.

dirty window vision hopeWhat if we listen to and nurture what God has already placed inside of them? What if we serve more as guides or even fellow journeyers than we do as teachers?

What if we work on the assumption that spirituality already exists inside the heart of every child and that God is already active there? Maybe that’s a cleaner window into their spirit.

And our role is not to tell them what to see out the window or to close the curtains on the window, but to facilitate and encourage them so they can see clearly for themselves.

Tweetable: If you’re a child, you want someone to pay closer attention to your human spirit and you deserve it. Click to Tweet