Young children generally experience Christmas like they do Halloween: one is a time to get presents and the other is a time to get candy.
Older children are more likely to hear friends speak of Christmas as Jesus’ birthday, which may give rise to questions about why Jesus is so important that his birthday is a holiday.
I asked some adults this question and here’s what they say
Jesus was a good teacher. We can read the book of Luke in the Bible to learn more about what he taught.
Jesus was born, not just as an ordinary baby, but sent by God to show us how to get closer to God and understand God better.
Jesus was God’s gift to us, so we celebrate his birthday by giving gifts to each other.
It is not only Jesus’ teachings which make him so remarkable
…although these would be enough to give him a holiday of his own. It is a combination of the teachings with the man himself.
Here’s what Jesus himself said about why he came into the world
My purpose is to give you a full and satisfying life.
I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.
The one who sent me is with me–I always do what pleases him.
Ask children why he gets his own holiday
Ask them what they think about Jesus and Christmas. Their answers in this 2 minute video may surprise you, bring you the biggest smile (laugh) of your day, and inspire you to ask them some questions.
Tweetable: Children try to answer simple questions about Christmas in a 2 minute video here. Click to Tweet
Weight Light as a child’s heart; Heavy as the meaning of life
Length About 300 words per week
First steps
First reader appeared who was not a family member or personal friend
First subscriber signed up on her own, not because I begged
When someone found enough merit in a post to “Share” it with his Facebook friends
First language translation: German
A growing number of people trust Child-Centered Spirituality
We would be nothing without this community who shares the idea that children come to us with a vibrant human spirit, that we have the opportunity to develop and encourage what has already been placed inside the child.
So I’d like to acknowledge here (in no particular order) some of the efforts readers made to promote Child-Centered Spirituality in its first year:
Seeing Richard’s “Like” on almost every post the entire year
Michelle’s frequent “Share” with her social media networks, referring me to Alisha, and more
Shan standing by me in Dec-Jan-Feb when I felt like throwing in the towel
Conrad sharing the childcenteredspirituality.com link with his friends in Australia
Parents, too many to name, who gave consent to use a story or picture of their children
The “we” you may not know
You’re welcome to take a peek behind the scenes of Child Centered Spirituality. Four people collaborate with me in the writing and distribution of the blog. Tara Miller edits and contributes ideas. Alisha Ule assists with social media and technical support. Annette Schalk does the German translation. And my husband Bob has been an unwavering source of support throughout the entire process.
Thank you for reading
Sadly, no way to get a piece of birthday cake to you, but this is the recipe I used for Snickers Candy Bar Cake.
Tweetable: A growing number of people trust Child-Centered Spirituality for objective thinking on a volatile subject. Click to Tweet
Here’s a summary of my favorite approach to answering many questions asked by children:
Some people think X
Some people think Y
Some people think Z
[optional] I think Z because___
What do you think?
Here is how this approach plays out with Santa…
Take a question that comes up in some families at this time of year. There are many opinions on this subject. Below are quotes from children about whether Santa is real, courtesy of Answers.com, and in general they can be broken down into three categories.
The first group of children says that Santa is real
He wears a red suit, and he lives at the North Pole, making presents for kids and delivering them all over the world on Christmas Eve in his sleigh.
Yes, Santa WAS a real man. He lived in Turkey.
Santa is real and everyone knows it! He is so real because he has brought me presents every year and he will do the same every year. I love him too!
The second group of children says that Santa doesn’t exist
….and those things are impossible.
Totally not, it is just a silly rumor to get children to do what they are told.
No, sorry. He was derived from a person named to be St. Nicholas. He gave toys to children, and wore red bishop’s clothing. He also is believed to have dropped things down chimneys at night, to avoid being seen. But this was a long time ago and he died.
No there is no Santa as we know him, but there are nice people out there who are like mini-Santas. So yes your mom or dad were buying the presents, and there’s no point writing letters. I actually cried when my mom first told me.
The third group admits that he doesn’t have a tactile presence but is nonetheless real
… in the hearts and minds of parents and children and in the spirit of Christmas. We as a society make him real.
Well, Santa Clause is sort of real and sort of not because St Nicholas is Santa Claus and he lived a long time ago and gave to the poor and the wealthy making gifts out of wood.
Santa Claus is real to some people but not to others. He is real to all those who believe. Keep believing!
Tweetable: Here’s an idea of what to say when #children ask if #Santa is real. Click to Tweet
We didn’t say grace at our house when I was growing up because my parents were atheists, explains author Anne Lamott.
I knew even as a little girl that everyone at every table needed blessing and encouragement, but my family didn’t ask for it. Instead, my parents raised glasses of wine to the chef: Cheers. Dig in.
But I had a terrible secret
which was that I believed in God, a divine presence who heard me when I prayed, who stayed close to me in the dark. So at 6 years of age I began to infiltrate religious families like a spy—Mata Hari in [pink] sneakers.
One of my best friends was a Catholic girl
Her boisterous family bowed its collective head and said, “Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts…” I was so hungry for these words; it was like a cool breeze, a polite thank-you note to God, the silky magnetic energy of gratitude. I still love that line.”
My two brothers and I all grew up to be middle-aged believers
I’ve been a member of the same Presbyterian church for 27 years. My older brother became a born-again Christian–but don’t ask him to give the blessing [at a holiday dinner], as it can last forever. I adore him, but your food will grow cold. My younger brother is an unconfirmed but freelance Catholic.
So now someone at our holiday tables always ends up saying grace
We say thank you for the miracle that we have stuck together all these years, in spite of it all; that we have each other’s backs, and hilarious companionship.
We savor these moments out of time, when we are conscious of love’s presence, of Someone’s great abiding generosity to our dear and motley family, these holy moments of gratitude. And that is grace.
Excerpts are taken from a column, “Views by Anne Lamott,” November 11, 2012. View entire column here.
Tweetable: Will you say grace at your holiday feast? Find inspiration through the eyes of a 6-year-old girl. Click to Tweet
A child’s human spirit and conscience develop like a new building under construction with scaffolding around it. Parents and other adults provide a framework for support, but the child is the one under development. The point is the child—or the building.
Everybody looks past the scaffolding
They are trying to see around or through the scaffolding to get an idea of what the building is going to look like. So it doesn’t matter what scaffolding looks like, as long as it serves its purpose.
Instead of worrying about what others think of our efforts, what if we keep our focus on the best interests of the child?
What will help develop their human spirit?
Letting them make mistakes. Not covering those mistakes up, but helping them process wrongdoing so they can learn from it.
Serving as a sounding board as they think, reflect, and make the kind of internal changes that will allow them to grow.
A friend of mine is struggling with oncoming empty nest syndrome
Two children who have left the nest are doing great, and one is still in high school and becoming very independent. When her second child left home recently, I sent her a note of encouragement saying,
You are now a masters-level parent. They can do much more on their own now, and that’s a sign of success.
When scaffolding is no longer needed, it goes away.
I’d argue that this removal of support doesn’t happen all of a sudden at age 18, but gradually throughout childhood and the teen years as kids take on more responsibility and make wise choices more consistently.
Paradoxically, the sign of good parenting is when they don’t need you anymore.
Tweetable: A child’s human spirit and conscience develop like a new building under construction with scaffolding around it. Click to Tweet
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A growing number of people trust Child-Centered Spirituality
The first group of children says that Santa is real
The second group of children says that Santa doesn’t exist
The third group admits that he doesn’t have a tactile presence but is nonetheless real
