Mar 24, 2014 | Uncategorized
Provide spiritual security by engaging with the child’s spiritual questions and curiosity. In the busyness of everyday life it can be easier to skip over their questions, or give pat answers, especially if spiritual topics make us uncomfortable anyway.
Notice how these adults were developing children’s physical and emotional security at the same time:
My friend Terah is a social worker. She was on a routine visit in a good, stable foster home where two children, in kindergarten and first grade, had recently been placed. During her visit, one of the children commented, “What we really like in this new house is that it has an alarm system so we can tell if anyone is leaving.” When they were up in their rooms at night, they knew that the foster parents were still home. The beep-beep-beep of the alarm every time an outside door opened gave them the security of knowing that the adults were not leaving.
Children strongly desire a sense of security. The world can be a scary place for little people who have little control over what happens to them. In the same way they feel secure physically and emotionally, they can feel secure spiritually too. What are some ways you could help the children in your life feel secure in their spirit?
In my next post: Prepare for spiritual questions when your child watches the new movie “Noah.”
Tweets:
- Children can feel secure spiritually in the same way they feel secure physically and emotionally. Click to Tweet
Mar 17, 2014 | Uncategorized
Caregivers who nurture a child’s spirit may begin to notice subtle behavior changes in him. He may show interest in nurturing and caring for others. Children put out what they take in. – Click to Tweet.
You can see this dynamic play out by watching how children care for their baby dolls. One little boy strapped it on his back and went for a bike ride. One little girl scolded her baby in very familiar phrasing for some form of wrongdoing. Guess what these little ones had experienced from their caregivers? Children are natural mimics.
In the same way, children who are spiritually nurtured are likely to act out that same behavior with others.
“Once when I visited my brother’s family my 3-year-old nephew and I were playing with the dog. For some strange reason we started looking closely at the dog’s mouth and teeth. “Why do his teeth look like that [crooked]?” “I don’t know. I guess that’s just how God made him.” “Instantly my nephew shot back, “Who is God?” I don’t recall my exact words–some simple description I’m sure.
About a year passed, now he’s four, and I was with the family again as I was telling them about my shoulder being hurt. “I need to ask God to take care of your shoulder,” my nephew said.
Nurture of the child’s spirituality creates an environment that allows him to experience what it means to be a child of God, even when he cannot find the words to tell a parent or caregivers how important this is to him.
Tweets:
- Children put out what they take in – Click to Tweet.
- Children who are spiritually nurtured are likely to act out that same behavior with others. – Click to Tweet.
Mar 10, 2014 | Nurture
Children can hear about God almost every day. On the playground, at the park, at the zoo, basically anywhere people are talking: Oh my God. Oh God, no! Goddammit! I swear to God….
They are curious about this. Children want to talk about and ask about God.
Who is God? Why can’t I see God? Where does God live and is his mom there? How old is God? Is he a person? Was God born from an Easter egg?
Children ask questions, and they expect and respond to a God who cares, nourishes and feeds. It’s their natural instinct:
“When my pet cat died I wanted to know where my cat went, why she couldn’t come back, etc. I was completely satisfied with my parents’ answers of ‘She went to heaven; God is watching over her now.’ That’s when I realized there was some other higher being out there. I felt peace. I remember it distinctly. It was peace knowing that there was someone watching and caring for us that we couldn’t see or touch, but they were out there.”
“Around age four I was hungry to read stories from a large Reader’s Digest Bible Story Book that my Mom had ordered. We didn’t go to church so these stories were completely new to me. I was amazed and was so drawn by the stories read to me by my Mom and sister.”
Caregivers nurture the human spirit when, in responding to questions and comments about God, they convey God’s love, affection, warmth and tenderness for the child, despite any reservations of their own that they may have.
Tweets:
- Children have a natural instinct to ask questions about God. Click to Tweet
- Parents must respond positively to questions about God despite reservations. Click to Tweet
Mar 3, 2014 | Uncategorized
Find ways to get more children to have a place to speak and everyone will be richer as a result.
Ask children what they think and they will often tell you. Don’t ask them, and not only won’t they tell you, they won’t quite know themselves.
The act of articulating something – actually saying it – often is the moment of insight that allows kids to know what they know. So speaking and knowing are often the same thing.
They can’t speak when we’re doing the talking.
Click to Tweet
In the link below I have included a connection to a 2-minute video (from the Wexler Oral History Project of the Yiddish Book Center) where a young woman is asked about her values and how they connects to the issue she cares about – in this case the environment.
Notice that she has good ideas, clear thoughts and something important to offer.
Speaking is powerful. Seek to understand, and only rarely to change someone’s mind. Don’t be too anxious to get the last word.
Choose your first words well and create space for children’s voices to join in.
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Feb 24, 2014 | Uncategorized
What’s a family to do when a child’s spiritual direction threatens family traditions? In her own words, a preschool teacher shares some thoughts from a difficult childhood:
Evangeline Jana: not impressed!
I had a very rough childhood. I experienced some sexual abuse growing up and my house was much like a war zone. I was not told that God loved me or cared for me, nor did I think he did, considering my childhood trauma lenses.
We only went to church on special occasions or if my mom was feeling like we should. I will say that when I occasionally went to church I felt something in my heart. I remember thinking, ‘I want to be one of those people, one that God loves.’
If I questioned about God it was tossed aside as unimportant or not for people like us–that is–those who God forgets. My grandmother considered our family in the group of those God forgets because we didn’t go to church and there was just too much disaster and brokenness in our lives.
My grandmother saw God as a person who loved you only when you did good things.
We also lacked forgiveness in my household, so when I began to express my own beliefs [different from those of my family], it was not fully accepted. My grandmother thought I was in a cult.
My mom and sister were suspicious that I was manipulating them to try to get back into good graces after years of rebellion. Today, my mom and sister are mildly supportive and highly suspicious. Both still feel as though I will come to my senses someday.
Whenever possible on this blog, I share from the perspective of a child (or in this case, former child reflecting on her experiences.) What is a family to do when a child’s spirit threatens the family traditions? What actions foster harmony and understanding in the family? I would be interested in your thoughts and there is a Comment Box below.
