Jun 23, 2014 | trust
It is well-documented that children learn to trust as physical and emotional needs are met consistently.There appears to be a striking difference in how trust develops in the human spirit.
It is as if there is a full allotment of spiritual trust as children start out, and withdrawals are then made on the trust account.
Spiritual trust and language learning share many properties.
We are born with the ability to say all the sounds of every language. At the point where the brain starts to form speech, we discard the sounds that are not a part of the language we learn.
From this point on we can still learn new languages but the later in life we learn them the more an accent is detectable. (Current research shows that children who learn more than one language at this critical point also create certain other benefits in the brain.)
Young children trust readily.
It’s part of our original blueprint that we possess the necessary trust to be connected with the divine. The human spirit stirs in response to the presence of the divine apart from the influence of external circumstances or people.
Children have no problem believing in what they cannot see.
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, God, and imaginary friends come to mind.
Yet when a caregiver tells the child there is a tooth fairy and they later discover that there isn’t one, spiritual trust could diminish. When they watch a movie about Santa Claus and believe, only to discover later that is not true, another withdrawal could be taken from the account. Parents know what each of their children can handle.
How can we help keep their spirit’s trust account full?
We respect and honor their trust when we present a description of God that is deserving of their trust. Through our own actions and words we make known that God loves everyone, God knows everything and God cares about us.
Tweetable:
Children start life with a full allotment of trust in spiritual things until we make withdrawals. Click to Tweet
Jun 16, 2014 | Nurture
“I felt so beautiful that night. I loved the red carpet so much I went down three times. Everyone wanted my autograph and to take pictures with me.”
“It was the best!”
This from Julia, one of 425 honored guests from 70 schools at a special-needs prom in a California county. She has Williams syndrome, which causes cardiovascular disease, developmental delays and learning disabilities.
“At this event, everybody who goes to the prom feels like they are in the in-crowd,” says the mother of a young man with Down Syndrome. “Every child is treated as if they are the most important person.”
Prom-goers get the full treatment
From hairdos and makeup to flowers, jewelry, dresses, tuxedos, pictures and limo rides, everything is free, paid for by donors. “It feels like you are watching a fairy godmother experience. It’s something you never thought would happen in your child’s life,” says another parent.
It’s not just the students with special needs who benefit from the prom.
“It is the greatest feeling and most incredible experience I have ever had,” says a high school senior who was paired with a student with special needs. “It’s like any other high school dance– if you minus the awkwardness and multiply the happiness.”
“We don’t have a special-needs child in our family at all,” says one of the volunteers. “We were just so inspired by how wonderful it is. It is a lot of hard work and fund-raising, but every moment makes the effort worth it.”
We all love to dance. It brings out something in us.
“No matter how severe someone’s disability is, the music just speaks to them,” says Marci Boucher, executive director of the Society for Disabilities.
[Excerpts are from this USA Today article.]
Tweetable:
This prom has lots of dancing and no judgment. Click to Tweet
Apr 28, 2014 | Uncategorized
God is not a concept or an idea or a belief system to children. Children are literal and concrete. They can only understand God as a person with whom they have a relationship.
One thing I find interesting about this approach children take to God is how they can attach to God in much the same way they attach to their parents and caregivers.
Dr. Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. describes attachment as “the capacity to form and maintain healthy emotional relationships. This attachment, the emotional relationship, is not as easy to see or document, yet it is nonetheless as important for human development as the umbilical cord is in utero.
Babies are born ready to attach to a caregiver.
Researchers at the University of Dartmouth Medical School, embarking upon a study of infant attachment and child and adolescent brain development, reported that all scientific research now shows that from the time a baby is born the brain is already biologically formed to connect in relationships.
While an infant is experiencing delight in looking at the parent’s face, feeling warm bath water on her skin or being cuddled, the human spirit is doing its own attachment work within the young child. The human spirit is looking for a God who is able to know and be known. This “attachment view” of God underscores the personal relationship approach most children take to God.
Tweets:
- Children can attach to God in much the same way they attach to their parents. Click to Tweet
- The human spirit is looking for a God who is able to know and be known. Click to Tweet
Apr 7, 2014 | Security
Educator Janet Gonzalez-Mena uses the following analogy to describe the connection between security and boundaries: Imagine driving over a bridge in the dark. If the bridge has no railings we will drive across it slowly and tentatively. But if we see railings on either side of us, we can drive over the bridge with easy confidence. This is how a child feels in regard to limits in his environment.
The repeated experience of exploring in safe surroundings teaches young children that they are not likely to get hurt, that they can trust their caregivers to keep them safe, and that new experiences are enjoyable.
Spiritual exploration is similar.
Yes, it’s hard, but this is what we do: We allow children room to explore while also providing enough boundaries to keep them safe. We dialogue with them and allow them to ask questions… no matter what kinds of questions those might be.
Attending to things of eternal significance is a wide-open field of exploration for children– one in which they want their caregivers to allow them room to explore while also providing enough boundaries to keep them safe. Their curiosity and desire to explore is revealed by their questions: What happens when people die? Why do bad things happen?
Yet those same questions also reveal a desire for adult engagement in that exploration. That adult engagement provides the safety rails.
Tweets:
- Attending to things of eternal significance is a wide-open field of exploration for children. – Click to Tweet
- Children desire adult engagement in their spiritual exploration because you provide the safety rails. – Click to Tweet
Mar 17, 2014 | Uncategorized
Caregivers who nurture a child’s spirit may begin to notice subtle behavior changes in him. He may show interest in nurturing and caring for others. Children put out what they take in. – Click to Tweet.
You can see this dynamic play out by watching how children care for their baby dolls. One little boy strapped it on his back and went for a bike ride. One little girl scolded her baby in very familiar phrasing for some form of wrongdoing. Guess what these little ones had experienced from their caregivers? Children are natural mimics.
In the same way, children who are spiritually nurtured are likely to act out that same behavior with others.
“Once when I visited my brother’s family my 3-year-old nephew and I were playing with the dog. For some strange reason we started looking closely at the dog’s mouth and teeth. “Why do his teeth look like that [crooked]?” “I don’t know. I guess that’s just how God made him.” “Instantly my nephew shot back, “Who is God?” I don’t recall my exact words–some simple description I’m sure.
About a year passed, now he’s four, and I was with the family again as I was telling them about my shoulder being hurt. “I need to ask God to take care of your shoulder,” my nephew said.
Nurture of the child’s spirituality creates an environment that allows him to experience what it means to be a child of God, even when he cannot find the words to tell a parent or caregivers how important this is to him.
Tweets:
- Children put out what they take in – Click to Tweet.
- Children who are spiritually nurtured are likely to act out that same behavior with others. – Click to Tweet.
