A captivating 4-minute animated video sheds light on the mystery of how children find their life purpose.
A friend of Bill’s, one of our blog readers, explains that Bill died in October 2015 in the mountains of Ethiopia while on assignment for his employer, The Field Museum in Chicago, doing what he loved.
Finding what we love is part of the spiritual journey.
We have talents, aptitudes, feelings, intelligence, traits and a human spirit. Everything about us is woven together so that we are able to find and do what we love. Whether we see God’s design and involvement in this or a specific combination of DNA coming together by chance, both perspectives flow together into the same message: Nurture a child’s fascination.
What adults did to cause Bill to flip the switch of purpose:
In-home resources: He had access to a book about butterflies.
Introduction to a person who does what Bill loves: His mother knew about, and took him to, a museum where he got expert advice.
“You can handle this”: His mother sent him in to speak to the Curator of Insects alone.
Genuine praise and respect from the curator: “I have never seen a better-prepared specimen. How did you do it?”
Follow-up loop: The curator gave Bill the proper supplies, with the directive to make another specimen and “Bring it back to me.”
In Bill’s career overseeing all of the 30 million specimens and objects in the Field Museum, he helped to flip the switch in many young minds. Bill said the solutions to the problems that plague our world are dependent on these young people.
Tweetable:
Captivating 4-minute animation sheds light on the mystery of how children find their life purpose. Click to Tweet
Nurture a child’s fascination and prepare their brain to flip The Switch. Click to Tweet
I received many expressions of sympathy after my mother died last year. One of the most meaningful (pictured) came from a child in my life. Her parents said it was her idea. But behind the scenes of that child’s loving act was parental support facilitating her idea to find its way into my hands (and my grieving heart).
The spirit’s domain
Most of us long for more harmony, unity, and kindness in our world. Intangibles like these flow from our innermost being and some of us sense the presence of God through them.
Show children how to lift a person’s spirit in their everyday life.
One of our readers offered an example from her family: While getting donuts at the local donut shop, Tyler and I noticed a homeless person walking through the parking lot. We were late to a baseball game my husband was coaching so we hurried to our car.
I looked at Tyler who was putting our leftover change in the console between the seats. “We should do something for that guy.” Tyler said “Why don’t we give him our change? It’s not much but it’s something.” Tyler gathered the change and walked over to speak with him and [lift the man’s spirit].
When a child shows us the way to lift a human spirit and we are humbled.
How can we amplify acts of kindness so children’s perspectives focus outward more often — on the gifts they have to contribute to the world? On the good they can do for others? On understanding the feelings and perspectives of others?
Tweetable:
Applauding adult involvement when children want to do good toward other people. See examples here.Click to Tweet
How we make the world a better place when we let kids do something nice for others even when it is inconvenient. Click to Tweet
We all have a spiritual history. Awareness of our history—experiences, stories, defaults, blindspots–allows us to be fair with the important children in our lives.
A personal example–one of my blindspots
My spiritual history contains a chapter of my life in which I insisted on getting people to agree with my religious perspective. I felt responsible for their faith decisions.
My shift from ignorance to awareness
I don’t recall when or how I shifted from ignorance to awareness. Suddenly I recognized each man, woman and child is on his or her own journey of spiritual discovery and it may take them somewhere different from mine. I backed away from playing God in the lives of my friends to understand God is guiding them on their own path. I carry the same attitude into my conversations with children now.
Notice how another parent was confronted with her own spiritual history– and ambivalence– as she tried to answer her child’s questions.
My husband and I were raised in a Catholic family although our parents never had us attend Mass unless it was for a wedding, etc. The other day, we were passing by this gorgeous church in downtown Oakland and my 3 1/2 year-old asked me what it was. I told her it was a church.
She said: “Is that a place to go for lunch?”
And then… I tried to find the words to explain that some people go there to think about loved ones that are gone, etc… Too complicated!!!!
Our view on spirituality is that we are non-religious persons believing that there is something or someone out there but we don’t really know what/who. And that religion is the answer to humans about everything we couldn’t understand, or to control population. How to explain this?
Questions to increase mindfulness of your spiritual history
What do you remember about your first awareness of God?
In what ways did your parents or other caregivers engage with your early spiritual development?
What were your early ideas of what God was like? What positive emotions did you associate with God? What negative emotions?
What stories did your parents tell you of their spiritual history?
Tweetable: Awareness of our spiritual history increases the likelihood we’ll be fair when we discuss religion with kids. Click to Tweet
Like it or not, a child’s caregivers mirror God’s character in the child’s eyes. No doubt you’ve been part of conversations like this:
My 3-year-old asked me something–I’ve forgotten the exact question–but it was something I didn’t know the answer to. So I told him, ‘Hunter, I don’t know the answer to that question.’
As if he hadn’t heard me, he asked the same question again. Again I said, ‘I told you already; Daddy doesn’t know the answer to that question.’
‘Yes you do, Daddy,’ he said with confidence, ‘you know everything! Now tell me the answer!’
Obviously it sorts itself out and children grow to grasp the reality that my parents are only human.
Yet a spiritual component remains in effect.
The way caregivers express their values and emotions “wires” the child’s brain for the way children will perceive their higher power.
As a father held his crying little daughter in his arms, one of his statements to her was, “God knows we are sad when we lose something we like, but he promises to hold us just like I’m holding you right now.”
A mother of two explains how she understands the mirror image.
Let’s say Sally is crying because she has scraped her knee. An empathetic parent would come to her aid asking how she is doing rather than curtly telling her to stop crying like a baby. This child feels understood and connected, and the universe makes sense to her.
Author Curt Thompson states, “This mindful approach to the emotional state of a child literally prepares a template at a neurological level that enables the child to grow into an awareness of a God who also cares about his or her joys, hurts, fears and mistakes.”
The child ultimately is able to envision God as responsible and trustworthy and that the world is safe, despite the apparent contradictions.
When you consider this idea, do you feel increased frustration or increased hope?
Tweetable: The way caregivers express their values and emotions “wires” the child’s brain for the way children will perceive God.Click to Tweet
“There were maybe 5 kids sitting in a car across the street,” author Kara Powell says, recalling how she tripped and fell as a teenager. “I remember them laughing at me as I picked myself up. But that was in front of five kids, and it was over in five minutes. Today, if someone caught a moment like that on a smartphone and shared it on social media, that shame could live with the kid for the rest of high school.”
The merging of public and private
In recent years, awareness of shame has intensified in our society and our children are not immune. Psychologist Brene Brown describes an inner sense of unworthiness, often rooted in trauma and embarrassing experiences. Children may come to feel they are bad or good based upon what their community says about them.
The Hunger Games
Andy Crouch observes that some of the most powerful dynamics of today’s youth culture are preoccupied with shame and fame. In the Hunger Games trilogy, Katniss Everdeen and her fellow tributes make every move under the watchful eyes of her nation’s culture of spectacle. “The power of the trilogy is that it centers on a young woman trying to maintain goodness and honor in a world that seems to offer only fame and shame,” observes Mr. Crouch.
Resilience to shame
He continues, “The remedy for shame is not becoming famous. It is not even being affirmed. It is being incorporated into a community with new, different and better standards for honor. It’s a community where [for example] weakness is not excluded but valued; where honor-seeking and boasting are repudiated, where connection is important.” This kind of community can give children shame resilience.
Children who believe in God experience shame resilience when they internalize the good news of God’s provisions for covering shame and guilt.
Furthermore, children acquire shame resilience as we encourage them toward self-care, which may mean pulling away from unhealthy people and self-defeating situations. The ability to differentiate and yet maintain the connection can be profoundly redemptive.”
How do you generate shame resilience for the important children in your life?
A captivating 4-minute animated video sheds light on the mystery of how children find their life purpose.
I received many expressions of sympathy after my mother died last year. One of the most meaningful (pictured) came from a child in my life. Her parents said it was her idea. But behind the scenes of that child’s loving act was parental support facilitating her idea to find its way into my hands (and my grieving heart).
We all have a spiritual history. Awareness of our history—experiences, stories, defaults, blindspots–allows us to be fair with the important children in our lives.
A personal example–one of my blindspots
Questions to increase mindfulness of your spiritual history
The way caregivers express their values and emotions “wires” the child’s brain for the way children will perceive their higher power.
In recent years, awareness of shame has intensified in our society and our children are not immune. Psychologist 
Resilience to shame