No. God keeps loving you the same whether you make a wrong choice or a right one.*
But God often provides a consequence.
It might come through your teacher, or from your conscience and you feel miserable the rest of the day, maybe have trouble sleeping that night.
God loves you but God is not pleased with hateful, lying, mean behavior.
Consequences are an important way God expresses love to you.
Sometimes consequences from bad behavior leave you feeling guilty, embarrassed or mad.
You might lose a friend.
Occasionally you have to find jobs to do in order to earn money to pay for damage done.
Your family can start to doubt you and act suspicious of you for a long time when your words or actions break their trust.
God hopes you will choose wisely next time because he wants a good life for you, a life of love.
God is for you, not against you. He knows that a good life comes when you live by God’s rules.
Consequences from good behavior give you a happy feeling.
Often you feel that God is pleased with you and proud of you. In fact, one great way to let God know you love him — follow his rules of life.
Many people say that he had people write them down and put them in a book. Different religions have different books: The Torah, The Bible, The Koran. For the most part, these different books will have similar teachings about right and wrong — no lying, stealing or killing. And treat others the way you want to be treated.
You might have a book like this at your house.
For sure you can find one on the computer. Ask an adult you trust. They may have a children’s version of the book and they can help you find some of those rules.
Tweetable: Consequences, not punishment, is how many people prefer to explain God’s response to wrongdoing. Click to Tweet
Young children generally experience Christmas like they do Halloween: one is a time to get presents and the other is a time to get candy.
Older children are more likely to hear friends speak of Christmas as Jesus’ birthday, which may give rise to questions about why Jesus is so important that his birthday is a holiday.
I asked some adults this question and here’s what they say
Jesus was a good teacher. We can read the book of Luke in the Bible to learn more about what he taught.
Jesus was born, not just as an ordinary baby, but sent by God to show us how to get closer to God and understand God better.
Jesus was God’s gift to us, so we celebrate his birthday by giving gifts to each other.
It is not only Jesus’ teachings which make him so remarkable
…although these would be enough to give him a holiday of his own. It is a combination of the teachings with the man himself.
Here’s what Jesus himself said about why he came into the world
My purpose is to give you a full and satisfying life.
I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.
The one who sent me is with me–I always do what pleases him.
Ask children why he gets his own holiday
Ask them what they think about Jesus and Christmas. Their answers in this 2 minute video may surprise you, bring you the biggest smile (laugh) of your day, and inspire you to ask them some questions.
Tweetable: Children try to answer simple questions about Christmas in a 2 minute video here. Click to Tweet
Weight Light as a child’s heart; Heavy as the meaning of life
Length About 300 words per week
First steps
First reader appeared who was not a family member or personal friend
First subscriber signed up on her own, not because I begged
When someone found enough merit in a post to “Share” it with his Facebook friends
First language translation: German
A growing number of people trust Child-Centered Spirituality
We would be nothing without this community who shares the idea that children come to us with a vibrant human spirit, that we have the opportunity to develop and encourage what has already been placed inside the child.
So I’d like to acknowledge here (in no particular order) some of the efforts readers made to promote Child-Centered Spirituality in its first year:
Seeing Richard’s “Like” on almost every post the entire year
Michelle’s frequent “Share” with her social media networks, referring me to Alisha, and more
Shan standing by me in Dec-Jan-Feb when I felt like throwing in the towel
Conrad sharing the childcenteredspirituality.com link with his friends in Australia
Parents, too many to name, who gave consent to use a story or picture of their children
The “we” you may not know
You’re welcome to take a peek behind the scenes of Child Centered Spirituality. Four people collaborate with me in the writing and distribution of the blog. Tara Miller edits and contributes ideas. Alisha Ule assists with social media and technical support. Annette Schalk does the German translation. And my husband Bob has been an unwavering source of support throughout the entire process.
Thank you for reading
Sadly, no way to get a piece of birthday cake to you, but this is the recipe I used for Snickers Candy Bar Cake.
Tweetable: A growing number of people trust Child-Centered Spirituality for objective thinking on a volatile subject. Click to Tweet
Here’s a summary of my favorite approach to answering many questions asked by children:
Some people think X
Some people think Y
Some people think Z
[optional] I think Z because___
What do you think?
Here is how this approach plays out with Santa…
Take a question that comes up in some families at this time of year. There are many opinions on this subject. Below are quotes from children about whether Santa is real, courtesy of Answers.com, and in general they can be broken down into three categories.
The first group of children says that Santa is real
He wears a red suit, and he lives at the North Pole, making presents for kids and delivering them all over the world on Christmas Eve in his sleigh.
Yes, Santa WAS a real man. He lived in Turkey.
Santa is real and everyone knows it! He is so real because he has brought me presents every year and he will do the same every year. I love him too!
The second group of children says that Santa doesn’t exist
….and those things are impossible.
Totally not, it is just a silly rumor to get children to do what they are told.
No, sorry. He was derived from a person named to be St. Nicholas. He gave toys to children, and wore red bishop’s clothing. He also is believed to have dropped things down chimneys at night, to avoid being seen. But this was a long time ago and he died.
No there is no Santa as we know him, but there are nice people out there who are like mini-Santas. So yes your mom or dad were buying the presents, and there’s no point writing letters. I actually cried when my mom first told me.
The third group admits that he doesn’t have a tactile presence but is nonetheless real
… in the hearts and minds of parents and children and in the spirit of Christmas. We as a society make him real.
Well, Santa Clause is sort of real and sort of not because St Nicholas is Santa Claus and he lived a long time ago and gave to the poor and the wealthy making gifts out of wood.
Santa Claus is real to some people but not to others. He is real to all those who believe. Keep believing!
Tweetable: Here’s an idea of what to say when #children ask if #Santa is real. Click to Tweet
Hide and Seek can be fun for kids… but the thrill is in being found. No one wants to stay hidden forever. That means they’ve been forgotten and are not part of the group anymore.
An (admittedly imperfect) analogy can be drawn to hiding our wrongdoing
When adults do something wrong, our temptation can be to hide it. But we quickly learn that the hiding becomes a problem in and of itself.
It cuts us off from our community. It allows our detrimental behavior to continue to harm us. It brings unwanted feelings of shame.
We don’t want this for our children.
Why do children often begin to cover up their wrongdoings?
For one thing, it is usually easy to hide a hurtful wrong, while deciding to reveal it is hard.
For another thing, children are scared of the consequences, especially when that may include punishment in some form. So instead of acknowledging the wrongdoing and exposing themselves to the adult’s potentially negative reaction, their temptation is to hide it.
Also, children sense a breach of relationship when adults get angry or express disappointment in them, making their choice to hide seem like a safer alternative.
What can we as parents or caregivers do to help children navigate these difficult waters well?
The most important action we can take is also the most simple: Show them through modeling. When do children see you admit that you have done something wrong or handled something badly? When have they seen you apologize for your actions?
One dad sometimes gets mad at his kids and yells at them. (Admittedly, they’ve generally done something to provoke that response.) He knows he shouldn’t yell at them, so after he cools down he will come back and apologize to his children. Through this they learn that it’s okay– even good– to be honest about your shortcomings.
The more honest I can be, the less I have to hide…when I have nothing to hide, I have everything to give.
–American singer/songwriter Kenny Loggins
Tweetable: When do children see you admit that you have done something wrong or handled something badly? Click to Tweet
If we work on the assumption that spirituality already exists inside every child, the impact we have on children even in the earliest stages of their development makes such a difference.
Many years ago I was told the story of a baby.
This baby was born to a mother addicted to crack cocaine.The little boy was born with an intense craving for the drug, and quickly went into withdrawal. He was inconsolable, crying and arching his back in pain. His mother was not available to him, as she was going through her own withdrawal.
A group of friends decided to take turns holding that little baby in two hour shifts around the clock. Even as he cried and felt pain, arms were always around him. Even when it looked to those holding him that their arms were having no soothing effect, they still held him. After what seemed like an eternity, all the drugs were out of his system and he was at peace… lying in the loving arms of his caregiver.
What difference do you imagine that made to the baby boy?
What did he learn about God even through unfair circumstances? How did his experiences shape him– even experiences he wouldn’t later be able to remember?
No. God keeps loving you the same whether you make a wrong choice or a right one.*
Sometimes consequences from bad behavior leave you feeling guilty, embarrassed or mad.
Consequences from good behavior give you a happy feeling.
Name
A growing number of people trust Child-Centered Spirituality
The first group of children says that Santa is real
The second group of children says that Santa doesn’t exist
The third group admits that he doesn’t have a tactile presence but is nonetheless real
