choiceWe’re at the midway point of the C.H.O.O.S.E tool, which builds willpower and gives children a sound decision-making process they can carry throughout their lifetime.

Deciding what to do–one choice to TRY

This is the point at which the child settles on one good option to TRY in the situation.

After working through the previous steps of the C.H.O.O.S.E. tool, the only options on the child’s list are the wise ones. Sometimes the best option emerges very quickly, and other times it takes a while and the child may have to try a few different options before one works.

kid beachAt times, children may not want to try any of their options. Why not?

  • Fear of failure
  • Need for approval from parents or others (e.g. people-pleasing)
  • Disconnection from their source of guidance

For example, if you believe they are afraid to fail, see if they want to revisit the brainstorming process until the child convinces himself he does indeed have enough information to make a choice.

Maybe the child can’t decide because she wants to choose an option she thinks will not please you.  You can assure her you see her point of view and you are supportive of her choice no matter what the outcome.

Remember, the list contains only positive choices in the sense that unsafe choices or those with consequences that can’t be undone have already been deleted.  Furthermore, you will be there to help the kids identify what they are learning from the choice and what they might want to do differently next time. This builds willpower.

Getting it right is not the point.

Rather, by taking time with the child to carefully think about each possibility, children can be increasingly confident of making the best choice they can–and move on.

The goal is the child’s growth in the ability to make a good choice based on careful evaluation of all the options.


  • When a child is confused about making an important choice, take a closer look at these 3 hindrances. Click to Tweet
  • Here’s some practical guidance when a child procrastinates in making a decision. Click to Tweet