Jan 4, 2016 | Attachment, Nourishment
I’m not the first one to notice the earnest way children talk about and ask about God. They are curious. After all, they can hear about God almost every day. On the playground, at the park, at the zoo, basically anywhere people are talking: Oh my God. Oh God, no! Goddammit! I swear to God….
They are curious about this. Children want to talk about and ask about God.
Who is God? Why can’t I see God? Where does God live and is his mom there? How old is God? Is God a person? Was God born from an Easter egg?
Notice these two children who expected and responded to a God who cares, nourishes and feeds. It’s their natural instinct:
“When my pet cat died I wanted to know where my cat went, why she couldn’t come back, etc. I was completely satisfied with my parents’ answers of ‘She went to heaven; God is watching over her now.’ That’s when I realized there was some other higher being out there. I felt peace. I remember it distinctly. It was peace knowing that there was someone watching and caring for us that we couldn’t see or touch, but they were out there.”
“Around age four I was hungry to read stories from a large Reader’s Digest Bible Story Book that my Mom had ordered. We didn’t go to church so these stories were completely new to me. I was amazed and was so drawn by the stories read to me by my Mom and sister.”
We nurture the human spirit when, in responding to questions and comments about God, we convey God’s love, affection, warmth and tenderness for the child, despite any reservations of our own we may have.
Tweetable:
- Two different parents respond to their child’s natural instinct to ask questions about God. Click to Tweet
- Parents should respond positively to kids’ questions about God despite their own reservations. Click to Tweet
Dec 7, 2015 | Attachment
“It took me years to figure out what my kids aren’t getting, so I could go out and get it.”
Disappointment hung on these words: because of a lack of knowledge; for the difficulty of facing down what’s fragile in life; for the uncertainty around what really matters in the end.
In the same breath, hope burns brightly.
This parent went out and got it—decided what investments to make in the child and took steps to make it happen.
The legacy I want to leave through this blog is connected to this parent’s statement.
I want every reader to discover your unique role and responsibilities within the spiritual development of the important children in your life and to achieve it with excellence.
With the five minutes of your time each week it takes to read Child-Centered Spirituality…..
….I challenge you to reflect, evaluate and act now. I ask questions like, “How can I promote a fulfilling, meaningful life for this child?” “How should I respond to the hard questions?” “How do I engage with children about the wrongs I have done?” “What will I leave behind as a legacy?”
I try to increase your awareness of what children are and are not getting from you.
I do this by giving ideas for forming new habits of engagement with children, rather than just letting life happen to you in the same old way.
In the weeks following my mother’s death in August, an insight dawned: My parents equipped me fully to live without them. I have everything I need for life.
How did they do this? Not perfectly by any external standard. But they did it perfectly for me. I have been able to fill in the missing parts, learned from the hardships and joys of life. It hasn’t been all good but all things have worked together for good in my life.
Standing on this foundation, I write each week.
In addition, several talented people collaborate with me in the writing and distribution of the blog. Tara Miller edits and contributes ideas. Alisha Ule assists with social media. Annette Schalk does the German translation. Ryan Schultz provides technical support.
Thanks to all of my readers on this 2nd anniversary of the Child-centered Spirituality blog!
Your Likes, Shares and Comments lift my spirit, and for the most frequent of these, I say a special thanks to Bob L, Richard M, Patricia G, Laura L, Aloyce L, Megan R, Michelle U, and Shan S.
Tweetable: A blog where you actually get practical ideas so that kids get from you what they need for spiritual development. Click to Tweet
Jan 26, 2015 | Direction
I interviewed a man whose parents understood the need to tailor their spiritual conversations to each of their children. He was able to offer this perspective:
I am adopted and so are my brother and sister. Our values seem remarkably similar. We are always going to take the kitten out of the storm. That is what our parents taught us to do.
But we don’t otherwise parrot our parents and we don’t much resemble each other. This has led me to favor a theory of human nature wherein we are bestowed a core personality type. You could say this is largely through genetic make-up or perhaps you could call it the soulish essence of a person.
Environment may pinch or stretch or permanently stain us but our essential traits are immutable.
These essential traits show up, for example, in a child who likes routine.
In her spiritual development, this child will resonate with scheduled times for prayer, inspirational readings in the same favorite location every day, or regular attendance at religious services.
Another more free-spirited child will find this style constraining…
and boring and “something I have to do.” So we approach this child about talking to God wherever, whenever, spontaneously. When you are out doing active things and you feel God’s presence, say a prayer of gratitude. When you get yourself into a precarious situation, call on God’s help. In these ways you help them connect with God in different ways that align with their personality.
Adults who take a truly holistic view of children often feel a responsibility to attend to their spiritual need to connect with God just as much as to the physical, emotional and social need to form relationships with other people.
They realize it doesn’t make sense to enforce one style, one method, or only the approach that works for them.
Tweetable
A child’s core personality guides caregivers in how to discuss spirituality. Click to Tweet
Jan 20, 2015 | Attachment
Different aspects of God’s character are going to attract one child more than another.
A child who likes routine
With a child who does not like change, who likes routine, and who references the past for clues about what to do in the present, God’s unchanging nature (the same today as he has always been) draws that child close.
So if your child worries about things, you can reassure him that the problem he has now is something God has seen before, and what you know of God in the past is what you can expect to see in the future.
A high energy child
Another child is high energy, curious, and all about action and excitement. If you focus with this kid on God being the same today as he has always been, he doesn’t get excited–how boring!—and does not connect strongly with this part of God’s character.
To this child you talk about God being the most adventurous person they’ve ever seen, how God is right there with them when they are taking risks, doing brave and exciting things. Don’t expect them to relate with a God who is boring or who has lists of rules.
While another child wants to do what’s right and needs structure, rules make this action-seeker want to rebel. Rules? I want to be outside the box, to push the limits, to test the boundaries.
A better approach is to emphasize how difficult it is to do the right thing. When you stand out from the crowd for doing what is right or just or good, you are very brave.
We give children a complete picture of what God is like….but
We think through which characteristics are going to click with each one. If this is overlooked, God can seem foreign to them, and makes it more difficult for them to find the connecting points they seek.
Tweetable
When a child asks about God, here’s an idea for matching their personality to God’s characteristics. Click to Tweet
Dec 9, 2014 | trust
Name Child-Centered Spirituality
Date of birth December 9, 2013
Weight Light as a child’s heart; Heavy as the meaning of life
Length About 300 words per week
First steps
- First reader appeared who was not a family member or personal friend
- First subscriber signed up on her own, not because I begged
- When someone found enough merit in a post to “Share” it with his Facebook friends
- First language translation: German
A growing number of people trust Child-Centered Spirituality
We would be nothing without this community who shares the idea that children come to us with a vibrant human spirit, that we have the opportunity to develop and encourage what has already been placed inside the child.
So I’d like to acknowledge here (in no particular order) some of the efforts readers made to promote Child-Centered Spirituality in its first year:
- Seeing Richard’s “Like” on almost every post the entire year
- Michelle’s frequent “Share” with her social media networks, referring me to Alisha, and more
- Shan standing by me in Dec-Jan-Feb when I felt like throwing in the towel
- Conrad sharing the childcenteredspirituality.com link with his friends in Australia
- Parents, too many to name, who gave consent to use a story or picture of their children
The “we” you may not know
You’re welcome to take a peek behind the scenes of Child Centered Spirituality. Four people collaborate with me in the writing and distribution of the blog. Tara Miller edits and contributes ideas. Alisha Ule assists with social media and technical support. Annette Schalk does the German translation. And my husband Bob has been an unwavering source of support throughout the entire process.
Thank you for reading
Sadly, no way to get a piece of birthday cake to you, but this is the recipe I used for Snickers Candy Bar Cake.
Tweetable: A growing number of people trust Child-Centered Spirituality for objective thinking on a volatile subject. Click to Tweet
