I’m not the first one to notice the earnest way children talk about and ask about God. They are curious. After all, they can hear about God almost every day. On the playground, at the park, at the zoo, basically anywhere people are talking: Oh my God. Oh God, no! Goddammit! I swear to God….
They are curious about this. Children want to talk about and ask about God.
Who is God? Why can’t I see God? Where does God live and is his mom there? How old is God? Is God a person? Was God born from an Easter egg?
Notice these two children who expected and responded to a God who cares, nourishes and feeds. It’s their natural instinct:
“When my pet cat died I wanted to know where my cat went, why she couldn’t come back, etc. I was completely satisfied with my parents’ answers of ‘She went to heaven; God is watching over her now.’ That’s when I realized there was some other higher being out there. I felt peace. I remember it distinctly. It was peace knowing that there was someone watching and caring for us that we couldn’t see or touch, but they were out there.”
“Around age four I was hungry to read stories from a large Reader’s Digest Bible Story Book that my Mom had ordered. We didn’t go to church so these stories were completely new to me. I was amazed and was so drawn by the stories read to me by my Mom and sister.”
We nurture the human spirit when, in responding to questions and comments about God, we convey God’s love, affection, warmth and tenderness for the child, despite any reservations of our own we may have.
Tweetable:
Two different parents respond to their child’s natural instinct to ask questions about God. Click to Tweet
Parents should respond positively to kids’ questions about God despite their own reservations. Click to Tweet
Although children often say they see spirituality differently, many adults insist either that we need never bring up spiritual matters at all or that we must instill our own beliefs about God into children.
Assumption #1: Spiritual matters are of little importance to children.
The first option may be found among adults who assume that spiritual matters are of little importance to children. The upshot can be to discourage open-minded exploration and discovery where almost all children are curious. Or simply to eliminate yourself as an interested party when children reach out to talk with someone about life and death and meaning.
Assumption #2: Children are blank slates.
The second option is common among more religious adults. The assumption is that children are blank slates, having no natural engagement with God on their own, and therefore need to be taught.
Sometimes the results can be damaging: children feeling forced into rigid belief systems at a time when they more naturally lean toward possibilities and questions. That can lead children to run from the very mention of God.
There is a third way…. Assumption #3: Spirituality already exists in the heart of every child.
What if we listen to and nurture what God has already placed inside of them? What if we serve more as guides or even fellow journeyers than we do as teachers?
What if we work on the assumption that spirituality already exists inside the heart of every child and that God is already active there? Maybe that’s a cleaner window into their spirit.
And our role is not to tell them what to see out the window or to close the curtains on the window, but to facilitate and encourage them so they can see clearly for themselves.
Tweetable: If you’re a child, you want someone to pay closer attention to your human spirit and you deserve it. Click to Tweet
“It took me years to figure out what my kids aren’t getting, so I could go out and get it.”
Disappointment hung on these words: because of a lack of knowledge; for the difficulty of facing down what’s fragile in life; for the uncertainty around what really matters in the end.
In the same breath, hope burns brightly.
This parent went out and got it—decided what investments to make in the child and took steps to make it happen.
The legacy I want to leave through this blog is connected to this parent’s statement.
I want every reader to discover your unique role and responsibilities within the spiritual development of the important children in your life and to achieve it with excellence.
With the five minutes of your time each week it takes to read Child-Centered Spirituality…..
….I challenge you to reflect, evaluate and act now. I ask questions like, “How can I promote a fulfilling, meaningful life for this child?” “How should I respond to the hard questions?” “How do I engage with children about the wrongs I have done?” “What will I leave behind as a legacy?”
I try to increase your awareness of what children are and are not getting from you.
I do this by giving ideas for forming new habits of engagement with children, rather than just letting life happen to you in the same old way.
In the weeks following my mother’s death in August, an insight dawned: My parents equipped me fully to live without them. I have everything I need for life.
How did they do this? Not perfectly by any external standard. But they did it perfectly for me. I have been able to fill in the missing parts, learned from the hardships and joys of life. It hasn’t been all good but all things have worked together for good in my life.
Standing on this foundation, I write each week.
In addition, several talented people collaborate with me in the writing and distribution of the blog. Tara Miller edits and contributes ideas. Alisha Ule assists with social media. Annette Schalk does the German translation. Ryan Schultz provides technical support.
Thanks to all of my readers on this 2nd anniversary of the Child-centered Spirituality blog!
Your Likes, Shares and Comments lift my spirit, and for the most frequent of these, I say a special thanks to Bob L, Richard M, Patricia G, Laura L, Aloyce L, Megan R, Michelle U, and Shan S.
Tweetable: A blog where you actually get practical ideas so that kids get from you what they need for spiritual development. Click to Tweet
How do we do that in a way that informs, yet leaves the door open to explore and journey and be curious as they grow up? What words can we use to introduce God in such a way as to do the child no harm?
Here is a description of God that may prove useful, written in a child’s vocabulary.
This view is acknowledged in every area of the world from sub-Saharan Africa and tribes in the South Pacific to urban centers in Europe, farms in the Americas, and Middle Eastern deserts.
It is not the view of a particular religion, yet is found in the majority of world religions. It is mainstream.
Who is God?
God is a being. God does not have a body. God is invisible. People are beings too—human beings. God is a being who is greater than human beings. You can’t see God but you know He* is there. God has always been there.
God is love. All love comes from God.
God knows everything. He knows what will happen in the future. God knows what you are thinking. God knows all the facts about any subject you can imagine.
God is everywhere at once. He is not limited by time or space.
God does only what is right, good and just.
God has no beginning and he has no end.
God is pure. There is nothing evil about God.
God has unlimited power and authority.
God never changes. He is the same today as God has always been.
God is one-of-a-kind.
God makes himself known by displaying these qualities so that any child can recognize them. The human mind cannot understand God completely. God exceeds our brain’s capacity. But you can understand a lot about God.
*God is spirit, but I use the male pronoun because it is what I encounter most often when people talk about God.You may substitute the female pronoun if you wish.
Tweetables:
God exceeds our brain’s capacity but a child can understand a lot about God. See the basics here. Click to Tweet
Wondering what to say when a child asks about God? Here’s a description that does no harm. Click to Tweet
Physicist Charles Townes’ (pictured here) laser invention changed science and society, also bringing him the 1964 Nobel Prize. His reflections about his own lifebrought about my suggested resources (below) for gifted children who seek answers to the big questions.
Resource #1: Brainy people who will explore the child’s philosophical questions
Within your network of friends, find retired persons, intellectuals, and brilliant thinkers who are challenged by the big questions: what is the aim, purpose and meaning of this universe? Of our lives? See whether the child connects with any of these people and feels free to discuss deeper philosophical topics that are of interest to them.
Resource #2: Wisdom literature
Gifted children try to explore anything, think about everything, and ask lots of questions. Wisdom literature provides a foundational structure for the child’s evolving values and beliefs. A spiritual leader from your faith tradition can recommend books and may be willing to discuss them with the child. As Townes said, “Science seeks to discern the laws and order of our universe, including human life; religion, to understand the universe’s purpose and meaning, and how humankind fits into both.”
Resource #3: Volunteer work
Gifted youngsters are usually taught that there’s some purpose they will try to accomplish in their lives. But that’s very localized–what they want to do with their life. Be a person in their world who broadens their perspective. Volunteer work can often teach the gifted and talented child how to contribute to the well-being of others. It also helps them practice nurture and develop empathy for others: animals, family, neighbors, the environment… depending on the type of volunteer work chosen.
Resource #4: Regular conversation
Intellectually gifted children often have a higher capacity for deep conversation. When talking with a gifted child, ask broader questions about humanity: “What are human beings about in general? What is this universe all about? Where do brand-new ideas come from? To what extent does God help us?” You’ll probably be amazed at the answers you get as you help children broaden their thinking.
After Townes’ death in January 2015 at age 99…
…Michael Werner, project scientist for NASA’s Spitzer Space Telescope and Paul Goldsmith, chief technologist for astronomy, physics and space technology at the Jet Propulsion Lab offered:
Townes was a teacher above all else….He was never too busy to talk with us, and he provides a dramatic counter-example to the cliche of the inaccessible professor. Townes’ legacy includes the many students he mentored, and it will be perpetuated as we pass on what we learned from him to future generations.
Let us also guide along the children in our lives, helping them explore issues of faith and meaning.
Tweetable: Gifted children often take an early interest in the big questions; four ideas here. Click to Tweet
I’m not the first one to notice the earnest way children talk about and ask about God. They are curious. After all, they can hear about God almost every day. On the playground, at the park, at the zoo, basically anywhere people are talking: Oh my God. Oh God, no! Goddammit! I swear to God….“When my pet cat died I wanted to know where my cat went, why she couldn’t come back, etc. I was completely satisfied with my parents’ answers of ‘She went to heaven; God is watching over her now.’ That’s when I realized there was some other higher being out there. I felt peace. I remember it distinctly. It was peace knowing that there was someone watching and caring for us that we couldn’t see or touch, but they were out there.”
“Around age four I was hungry to read stories from a large Reader’s Digest Bible Story Book that my Mom had ordered. We didn’t go to church so these stories were completely new to me. I was amazed and was so drawn by the stories read to me by my Mom and sister.”
Although children often say they see spirituality differently, many adults insist either that we need never bring up spiritual matters at all or that we must instill our own beliefs about God into children.
What if we listen to and nurture what God has already placed inside of them? What if we serve more as guides or even fellow journeyers than we do as teachers?
In the same breath, hope burns brightly.
I try to increase your awareness of what children are and are not getting from you.
Thanks to all of my readers on this 2nd anniversary of the Child-centered Spirituality blog!
Physicist Charles Townes’ (pictured here) laser invention changed science and society, also bringing him the 1964 Nobel Prize. 
Within your network of friends, find retired persons, intellectuals, and brilliant thinkers who are challenged by the big questions: what is the aim, purpose and meaning of this universe? Of our lives? See whether the child connects with any of these people and feels free to discuss deeper philosophical topics that are of interest to them.